


The Past May Hurt

by dizzyraybabe



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One
Genre: Abortion, Acceptance, But there is fluff, Diabetes like fluff, Fluff, Love, M/M, Megatron is going to be a daddy, Mpreg, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Starscream will have triplets, Unplanned Pregnancy, yay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-02-21
Packaged: 2018-03-14 09:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 23,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3405758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dizzyraybabe/pseuds/dizzyraybabe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Starscream has been dwelling on his current "predicament" with Megatron. And as it turns out, Megatron's been doing some hard thinking of his own. RATED M; with good reason. Future abortion, OC babies, bonding, the works. Megatron & Starscream, Thundercracker & Skywarp, Optimus Prime & Ironhide, Omega Supreme & Skyfire slashes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Also can be found on FanFiction.net
> 
> This is my first ever Transformers fic. This takes place after Starscream's little "glomping" (tackle hug) at the end of the episode "A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court" (fantastic name, am I not mistaken?" That was Season 2, episode 23, in case you want it.
> 
> Transformers = Belongs to Hasbro. Duh.
> 
> This work, up to chapter 15: Purgatory, is almost 3 years old. I WILL be going through, editing it, making it much better, and reposting much of it, as well as continuing and hopefully finishing the story. Please work through it with me, and hopefully enjoy it! Because, yes, it really, really sucks. Bad. But my writing is much better now. MUCH better.

Starscream still couldn't understand why his leader wasn't happy to have his Second in Command back. Without him, surely, Megatron would have been terminated thanks to his idiotic plans by now? And to think, he went through all that, with Camelot and the time travel, all in his honour! Well, not entirely, but the point was, Starscream was happy to see the giant grey glitch, so why couldn't Megatron return the favour? Now that he thought about it, Starscream wasn't _actually_ happy to see his leader, just, emotionally uplifted.  
  
"Well, why did you run up and grab him like that in the first place?" Skywarp cocked his head at me and casually kicked his dark, violet pedes off the side of the berth. Starscream looked to him, carefully thinking about an answer, knowing right well the rumours his fellow seeker would spread if he only _knew_.

"He was shooting not only at the Autobots, but also at us. I couldn't risk my soldiers, or worse, me, being reduced to smoldering bits just because mighty Megatron was trying to hit the pitiful things." Starscream may have laced his words with more malice than he intended to, seeing as his trinemate visibly flinched at his words.

Thundercracker smirked at his red and blue brother's response, knowing how much of a downright lie it was. Starscream let his crimson optics glare at him menacingly, ensuring he didn't alert Skywarp of the vorns old predicament.

"Okay, but why grab him? You could have simply shouted you were there," the purple jet continued, now seemingly unbothered by the original tone Starscream had used.

"With him blasting off like the psychotic 'bot he is? I think not! He'd have killed me on the spot!" Starscream screeched. He crossed his arms and looked over to Thundercracker, ready for him to say something useful, unlike their brother.

The blue seeker sighed heavily, "Clearly not, otherwise he'd have blasted you for tackling him sometime between you getting back and now, right?" he offered. It was Starscream's turn to sigh, he put his servos to his helm, taking a deep cycle through his vents.

"I suppose," the SIC admitted. Starscream didn't, couldn't really believe that, and knew Megatron was going to kick the slag out of him later. However, he agreed and felt the gentle servos of Thundercracker beginning to rub the tips of his right wing. Skywarp quickly joined in, massaging the left.

It's not very often the three of them do these kinds of things, as Starscream is very adamant about appearing weak, even in the privacy of their quarters. However, Starscream relaxed into their touches, knowing it also calmed his mates who were nowhere but in his business as of late. The red seeker sighed in content, he really did need to vent his anger and need and  _frustation_ on someone. Everything was straining his circuits, but his trinemates were massaging the tenseness away with ease.

This was something, although he would never admit it, Starscream loved. This, the Seeker Bonding ritual, was the only thing holding together the link he shared with his trine anymore. Not even vorns upon vorns of tireless deceit and hatred bearing down on them thanks to the war could break those ancient ties. Starscream extended his azurite servos to his mates' wings, running along the bottom edge of each. They slipped their charcoal and violaceous servos down the sides of his wings, carefully kneading each seam they found. Nothing in any of the realms could take this away from Starscream, this was the way his life should be. Relaxed, comfortable, almost like he was home on the throne again.

"I'm still here if you ever want to privately talk," Thundercracker whispered over the private bond.

"Not now, but thanks," Starscream hazily replied. After the tender touches he was receiving, he was ready to hit recharge mode when his comm.-link burst into life.

"Starscream, my quarters, now," Megatron roared. He turned over in the berth and let out a high pitch screech, effectively living up to his name while fritzing his mates' hearing components.

"'Screamer, you should go now, before he gets too upset," Skywarp suggested.

"As if I didn't know that already." he huffed, already getting up and off the berth.

The blue jet took that as an invitation to intervene, "Come on, we'll walk you. If you need us, you can comm. us and 'Warp and I will rescue you in a flash," he tried.

"Very well, let's go get this beating over with."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read the FanFiction.net version of this prologue, you'll see how it's much better and easier to read. Still working on the rest. Please stick with me?


	2. Painful Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Rape. Drunk, soon-to-be-regretted rape.
> 
> This chapter has been revised.

"Greetings, oh _mighty_ Megatron," Starscream purred in his usual sarcastic tone. The energon in his circuits raced like they always did, after vorns of dealing with it, one would think Starscream had managed to calm himself in the presence of his leader. He hadn't. If anyone ever asked, he'd simply say he must have caught a glitch or something.

"Sit," was his one worded, cold, dreadful command. Starscream watched as the only light penetrating the darkness came from the window, and lit up half of his face. He was back-to to the SIC, making it every bit impossible to read his emotions. His optics fell down to the rest of his leader's body, it was stiff and set. Quickly, he brought his optics back up, noticing they had fallen victim yet again to the pitch-black hips of the mighty leader.

"I think I'll stand for this one," The seeker smirked, pushing his luck yet acting as normal as possible. He was still a bit "embarrassed," as the worm-things might put it, from his actions earlier, but he wasn't about to let Megatron figure that out.

The sound of Megatron's fusion cannon whirring to life quickly filled the room, it's violet rays making the sea-light jealous as it enveloped the room. "Sit," he repeated, louder.

Starscream glanced about the room, and found himself a chair. Unfortunately, that chair was the only chair, and said chair was right next to Megatron and his still-gleaming cannon, which the seeker was not about to get near.

"There are no places for me to sit," He replied, crossing his arms. Starscream stepped back a little, cautious to avoid any blasts that may come his way. Well, that, and he was cautious not to have any possibilities of my still-hot face showing or his energy fields giving his anxiousness away.

"Here, you fool," the grey 'bot said gravely, turning to face his Second while gripping the back of the metal chair with enough force to dent it.

"I'm sorry," he quickly whispered, his systems unable to remember configuring that response. It just, happened. Starscream was still embarrassed, especially that he had actually missed that massive glitch, and that could have been what triggered it. His vent cycles hastened sharply, lubricant pooling in his optics, as Megatron slowly leaned forward, over the chair, as if he didn't hear him properly.

"What did you say?" He demanded, voice flat, but deadly.

"I, I didn't say anything, my lord-," the seeker stuttered out, unable to finish his sentence as he his the ground. Megatron's back-servoing stung painfully on the side of Starscream's face-plates. He did his best to act like it didn't affect him, but it _did_.

"Apologies are a sign of weakness. And I cannot have weakness in my army, Starscream. Especially weaknesses that involve you showing any sort of affection towards me, let alone any other Decepticon," he spat out venomously.

"Of course, my lord," the ex-prince replied, mostly out of habit, preparing himself for the beating. He coward down a bit, bringing the joints in his legs a bit closer to his face plates and his servos closer to shield himself. He was trying, trying so hard to keep his emotions in check, but it was useless. A single drop of lubricant decided to run down from his optics then, but he didn't have time to wipe it away. Megatron already had his servos around his SIC throat, sqeezing, effectivly cutting any air from going in or out of his vents.

"And what is that Starscream? Hm?" He asked mockingly. Megatron brought Starscream's face close enough to his that the smaller mech could tell he was over-energized; every cycle from his nose crashing into his smell receptors.

"I-I-," the seeker tried, but as usual, Megatron would have none of it. He slapped his Second hard, drawing energon from the edges of his mouth.

"Are you crying my dear Seeker?" He laughed. He then repeatedly slammed Starscream's helm into the cold floor of the Nemesis, the Vosian's optics shut down in fear. Megatron roared with laughter even more at this.

"Crying. Crying. Crying." He just kept saying, using different sarcastic tones. "No worries, little Starscream, I'll make it all better."

The sound of a few clicks made their way through the room, and Starscream proceeded to online his optics. A fully pressurized, 13 megameter spike, all black, was the first thing his crimson optics met. The seeker turned to the side, feeling as though his tanks would purge themselves. Lucky for him, they didn't.

"You- you aren't going, to-to, put that thing in me, are-are you?" Starscream stammered. He had never bottomed during interfacing, let alone interfaced with a fellow mech.  Although, he _did_ want Megatron, but definitely not now, and not like this.

"You pitiful fool," he answered, tearing his soon-to-be victim's legs apart and spreading them as far as the wires and circuits could go.

Next, the drunken mech tore into Starscream's plating, nearly wrenching it out of position permanently. The seeker cried, and screamed, and attempted to kick, but it did nothing to help the situation. Megatron jammed two thick, black, foreign fingers into the unexpectedly dripping port in front of him. Starscream refused to watch this, watch himself be violated so brutally and carelessly, so he offlined his optics. The SIC could practically hear Megatron smirk, before realising his body heating up, like it was enjoying this!

"You're starting to drip, little Seeker. You want this as bad as I do, don't you?" He laughed, face close to the smaller mech's again. Starscream spit at him, making Megatron laugh louder, harder. Pulling out his fingers, he wiped the spit off his face plates before choking the seeker again with his other hand. "Open up," he smiled, digits sitting on Starscream's lip plates. He shook his helm violently, refusing to be toyed like this further! Charging up his null rays, the SIC attempted to get a good shot. Megatron removed the servo from his throat and replaced it above his helm, holding on to Starscream's two servos with much more force than neccessary.

"Very well, two can play," he breathed heavily into Starscream's audio receptors. The ex-prince struggled more, before feeling as if he was being torn in two by an invasion in his port. He cried out again, the pain searing through his circuits. Megatron quickly shoved the digits, still covered with Starscream's lubricants, into the seeker's mouth and against his glossa. It tasted awful.

"Oh shut up and tough it out, soldier!" the ex-gladiator shouted, gaining rhythm as he buried his spike into the still tearing port. Starscream turned his helm away from the digits and felt the lubricant leak from his optics once again. Looking down, he could see the violet energon pooling beneath him and covering Megatron's spike.

"You newer models are so, tight," Megatron exclaimed, hearing those words made the seeker, again, want to purge. Starscream tried to keep his venting regulations normal, his frame was getting hotter, even his fans had to kick on.

The smaller mech, not wanting to give Megatron the satisfaction of making me scream more, bit his dermas into his mouth plates, accidently drawing more energon. The seeker tried frantically to contact Thundercracker and Skywap through their bond links, but neither answered. He couldn't comm. anybot, as that would require speaking out loud. He was alone in this one, save for Megatron.

Sometime during the midst of failing to contact help, Megatron finished inside the Vosian. He could feel the warm lubricants thoroughly washing out his port and coating the inside of his chassis. The grey ex-gladiator laughed again, humiliating Starscream even futher.

"See, wasn't that nice?" He sighed, and toppled over into a scrap heap as he offlined.

Starscream bent over onto his side, and after purging his tanks, he attempted to get up. The seeker couldn't, now noticing how Megatron tore bits of his motor relays during this "session." Considering his trinemates were currently unavailable - _so much for being there_ _to rescue me in a flash_ \- Starscream had to humiliatingly comm. Hook for assistance. The red mech was still purging, sobbing uncontrollably, and scolding himself for acting like a seekerling when Hook and Soundwave overrided the codes to Megatron's quarters. Soundwave's face plates stayed monotone, as always, but the Constructicon couldn't keep himself silent.

"Primus, what the slag happened to you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for all of that :/


	3. Ancient Trust of Trines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more of a mushy thing between Starscream and his trine mates, Thundercracker and Skywarp. Nothing sexual, just more opening up to one another.

I bit my dermas into my mouth plates hard and offlined my optics. Hook was working hard to repair my, or rather what was left of my port, and a few neck cables that had broken. Most mechs wouldn't consider this very bad, it actually be sort of lucky for them. But it was, humiliating. And now the filthy medic and telepathically-monotone brute knew exactly what happened to me. How could I let it get that far? Why didn't I just shoot him with my null rays? Why didn't I just, just, _leave_?

 _Because you didn't want to leave. You never want to leave him, for any reason_ , the little voice in my head said. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the excuses for letting myself be violated in such a way.

"So, no damage anywhere else? You were lucky," Hook said, clearly thinking my shaking was answering some question I hadn't heard.

"Sure, I was lucky. Am I repaired? Can I leave?" I asked, ready to go to my trine. Thundercracker at the very least would understand my pain. He's understood me this far...

"You are free to go," he waved his servos in dismissal. I jumped off the berth and exited the cold, dark, metal doors and headed off to my fellow seeker's shared quarters. I made it about four steps before that dreaded monotone voice came from behind me stopped me cold.

"Inquiry: You're still functioning?" What a stupid question. A stupid question from nothing but a navy drone. That's what he might as well have been, anyways.

"Of course I'm functioning, you idiot! Why in Primus' name wouldn't I be?" I screeched. I didn't even bother turning around to face him, I just continued my journey down the corridor and around the corner. Luckily, I didn't have to face anyone else; the floor was suspiciously, empty.

I typed in the code to Skywarp and Thundercracker's room. Even though I had the override codes, for some reason I preferred to just use their codes. They were the only ones I _somewhat_ trusted, and clearly they trusted me, since they told me the codes for their quarters. It felt nice to know that someone trusted me in this deceitful army, even if it was a sign of weakness. After all, it's the trine trust we shared that got us this far in the first place.

I could tell the other two seekers were ready for my usual rant about how horrible Megatron is, how could he do this to me, how I'd be a much better leader, etc. But I couldn't do it this time. I just couldn't.

I stood there, staring at them. I could feel the liquid start to pool at my optics. Thundercracker noticed and immediately rushed to my aid, grasping my servo in one of his and trying to wipe away the liquids.

"Star, what in the Pit happened?" He asked softly. Skywarp was quick to follow, and held my other servo while rubbing my wing. He wasn't too good at talking in these situations, so it was best for him just to try and be soothing while being silent.

"He didn't beat me, not like usual," I started. I couldn't bring myself to choke out the rest, but TC knew there was more.

"And...?" he said, trying to drag it out of me.

"What did he do, Star? You can tell us," Skywarp added. I had been here before, my purple brother asking me the same question the first time Megatron punished me. I knew I could tell them, but this was worse than that. I didn't know I'd be in this position then.

I looked back at Thundercracker, then back at Skywarp, then back to the floor. My optics went offline again and my legs gave out. TC was the first to catch me, and Skywarp let me go long enough for him to bring me to their berth.

"Starscream," he coaxed, rubbing the sensitive plating where my back struts met my wings. I shuddered at the sensation, and without re-onlining my optics, I told them over our bond.

" _He raped me."_

The room was silent, the bond was silent, everything was, well, silent. Skywarp became the first to break it, since he hated any sort of silence.

"He raped you? But I thought you wanted him..." he trailed off. I onlined my optics instantly and glared at him, then at Thundercracker. I thought TC had spilled, but according to the murderous glare on his face, he hadn't.

"What do you mean, 'I wanted him'?" I asked quietly, still glaring. I never told Skywarp, and if Thundercracker hadn't either, then who did?

"Well, it's kinda obvious from the way you look at him, and how you always try to kill him, but even though you're completely capable, you never do. Not to mention, you did tackle him in a hug a few megacycles ago, didn't you?" He explained. I studied him for all he was worth, and it seemed that for once he was truly being serious, still...

"And that means I love him?" I inquired. Thundercracker and I knew I did, and had for millions of vorns. But if some 'bot as stupid as Skywarp knew, then there was no telling who else knew.

"I didn't say you _loved_ him," Skywarp smirked at me. "Only that you _wanted_ him."

I hit my face plates with my servo as hard as I could, of course I would screw up like that.

"Skywarp," TC threatened, "shut up now, or I will see to it everyone on base knows of your, night time dilemma." That stopped my purple brother in his tracks, and I wondered what that "dilemma" was.

"What dilemma?" I instantly asked, almost glad to have gotten off the subject of Megatron and what not.

"No dilemma," Thundercracker warned me. "Nothing said in this room ever leaves, whether it's about you," he looked at me, "or you," he finished at Skywarp. I looked back at Skywarp and turned back to my previous glaring.

"WHAT DILEMMA?" I shrieked. I was their superior, their commander, their _brother_ , and their _trine mate_. I had every right to know!

"Starscream of the Sky Light Clan of Vos," Thundercracker warned me again, but I'd have none of it.

"I am your superior, and your brother. I have trusted you with my issues, why make me feel inferior by not trusting me with yours?" I tried this time. I looked to Skywarp and grabbed his charcoal servo again. "Do you not trust me?"

Skywarp fidgeted a bit, he bit his bottom lip plate and looked back at Thundercracker with uncertainty. I never stopped looking at Skywarp, but I could tell TC was shaking his head, as if telling him to keep it secret. Then he looked back at me, and nearly inaudibly said:

"I leak the berth when I have night terrors."

I gasped, completely unexpected of hearing this, _sparkling_ issue. Honestly, that could be a problem almost as bad as my own. I could hear Thundercracker in the background slap his face plates like I had earlier, clearly wishing his mate hadn't have told.

"Do you hate me for being weak?" My violet brother asked, unsure of himself since I neglected to answer his previous remark.

I sighed. It was weak, but everyone had a weakness. I shifted myself to a more comfortable situation, which involved me lying on my back with my head in Skywarp's lap.

"Never in a million vorns could I hate you," I said honestly. Skywarp smiled a bit, so I did too. I could hear Thundercracker again, this time heaving a cycle of relief. He came over and sprawled my stabilizing servos across his own lap. I heaved my own cycle, but mine was due to exhaustion, and offlined my optics for possibly the millionth time that solar cycle.

Skywarp rubbed the sides of my helm, and Thundercracker set to work on massaging the tenseness out from the wires in my legs. I relaxed into their touches, and quickly lost myself in the welcoming blackness of recharge.


	4. Unfortunate Recharge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so here's the latest installment. First we start off with Starscream again, then we go to Megatron and how he feels about the situation, then we end with Starscream again.
> 
> Time units used:  
> breem = 8.3 Earth minutes.  
> klick = 1.2 Earth minutes.  
> solar cycle = Earth day.

I came out of recharge in my own quarters, placed comfortably on my berth. I sat up and attempted to rid myself of the foggy haze in my optics; instantly I was met with a searing pain in my spark chamber.

I started up my comm. link with Hook, "I need you." I said, used to this sort of communication between us.

He responded back the same response, "another beating from Lord Megatron, Starscream? When will you learn..."

"No, not another beating. Just something with the circuitry in my chamber," I retorted. I put my servo back up to my chassis, and I could feel excess heat coming from it. Checking my internal thermometer, it read 109º Fahrenheit. "Something's wrong, there's an abnormal spike in temperature in my chamber." I added.

"Alright, come see me; I'll see what I can do," he replied before ending the comm. link.

I stretched my arms and wings again before standing. My logic sensors seemed to be having issues too, as they began to hurt when I was fully on my two feet. Slowly I trudged to the sliding door and punched in the code. If my shift was going to involve this, it was going to be a long one.

Eventually I found myself at the med-bay doors, and quickly I typed the access code in. Hook was reading a data-pad when I entered, and raised his head just quick enough to see it was me.

"Sit down, let's have a look," he said, thumbing through the last bit of the pad before turning his attention to me. He walked over with a funny-looking scanner, wiped something the human's call "dust" off of it, and scanned my chamber.

"Well, that's odd," he murmured to himself, obviously confused at what the scanner had told him. "Open up," he added, flicking his wrist in an "opening" fashion.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked. I mean, I had every right to know what was going on within my own chassis.

"Just open up, Starscream," I had never heard Hook use such a deadly tone before. I did what I was told, even if an inferior commanded it. My chassis opened up and bathed Hook with my blue light, and watched as he looked at my very essence with curiosity, disgust, amazement, and surprise.

"What is it? What's going on inside me?" I asked after a few minutes of him staring. Quickly my anxiety and nervousness was beginning to rise.

"Well, Starscream, I'm not sure how you'll react to this, but it seems as though-" Just as I was about to get my answer, and hopefully my cure to whatever the hell this was, my comm. link burst into life.

"Starscream, my quarters, _now_ ," I heard the same old tyrant yell. His voice at this point disgusted me, but I wasn't surprised he called for me since I'd been avoiding him the past few solar cycles. I closed my chamber as Hook straightened his spinal relays, and popped myself up onto my stabilizing servos.

"I'll be back, whether that's for the diagnoses or cure or to be repaired or whatever," I said, leaving the med-bay.

 _I hate my life..._ I thought to myself as I walked down the halls and corridors to Megatron's quarters.

* * *

Why did I do that to him? How much high-grade did I even have that night? I know I was pissed, I had every right to be. Starscream ruined my shot with his obnoxious affection. But that didn't mean I had to go and humiliate him by doing _that_.

Soundwave was right, I did have to talk to him. I did have to, um, you know.

No I didn't. Starscream is the one at fault here, not me.

But, I was the one who did it.

Starscream was the one at fault.

But I was the one who _raped_ him.

Starscream should have stopped me. He's completely capable of doing so.

But I pinned him down. He might have been capable, but I am stronger. He can't escape me if I so choose.

But it's _his_ fault!

Why?

Because he did it! He ruined my shot! Besides, he was practically _begging_ for it. He wanted it.

No, no, no, and definitely not. Even if he did want me, at least a little part of him wanted me, he most certainly did _not_ want me like that.

I was the one who was at-, um, well, I was the one who was in the-, um, I was the one who should-, um...

* * *

"Lord Megatron? You called for me?" I made myself known of the speaker, weary what was to happen to me next. Would I be raped again? Would I simply be beaten again? Would I be completely deactivated?

"Yes, Starscream. Come in," I heard him say back. I punched in the code and entered his quarters. It was massive, but gray. His berth sat off to the far side of the room, next to the window viewing the ocean depths. He had a desk far over on the other side, where he was sitting. The only color in the room was the massive Decepticon symbol on the wall, shining in it's bright metallic purple.

Megatron looked at me, and I looked at him. I could practically feel my entire circuitry heat up, but whether that was in anticipation, anxiety, affection, fear, desire, or a combination of all of them, I wasn't sure. But we both stayed there, staring, for a good breem or two.

He was clearly contemplating something. He opened his mouth a few times, but then shut it again before any words could escape it.

Suddenly, the over-whelming urge to purge my tanks made itself known, and before I could exit Megatron's quarters, it came.

A good gallon of partially-processed energon came up and out over the next few klicks. My optics decided to leak, to make the situation all the more embarrassing.

I heard Megatron stand up and walk over to me, but he wasn't yelling. He didn't even look like he was going to hit me. He walked around behind me, and I shuttered. All I could remember was the other solar cycle, when he did _that_ to me. Then I felt his servo touch my wing, which had apparently tried to hide itself by drooping low behind me, and I flinched. But his servo just stayed there, a digit slowly rubbing against my wing. Almost, comforting.

My vents were taking in cycles of air unevenly, sometimes in quick gasps, sometimes in long, drawn out breaths. I was still crying, as the fleshies would call it, but I was done emptying my tanks.

"That's it, calm down, regulate your air-intakes," I could finally hear him say. Apparently he'd been trying to soothe me the entire time. Thoroughly convinced he wasn't going to beat me, I relaxed as best as I could into his touch. The one digit turned into the whole servo, which turned into both servos rubbing my wings simultaneously.

I was ready to go into re-charge when I heard him speak something other than the calming words he chose to use before.

"I'll comm. Hook and bring you to the med-bay. Clearly you need to be examined," he said, bringing his comm. link to life.

I smiled weakly, considering I had just been there. I told Hook I'd be back, for one reason or another. I was lost in thought processes about what viruses could be wreaking havoc on my systems at the moment when Megatron decided to talk to me again.

"I'm going to carry you to the med-bay," he grabbed me so that my legs hung over one arm, while my head and upper body were well supported in the other, causing me to be almost perpendicular to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, securing my spot so that even if he dropped me, I wouldn't completely fall.

Then I heard Megatron type in the access code to Hook's office, and was surprised that we got there so quickly. It made sense though, not only were Megatron's legs longer than my own, but he also took far bigger strides than I did.

"Back so soon, are you Starscream? Well, let's set you down over here," Hook motioned to the berth I had been previously occupying the last time I was here.

"What do you mean, _back so soon_? What was he here for?" Megatron asked Hook, putting me down almost carefully.

"Uh, Megatron, I don't know if I should tell you this," Hook started. I lazily offlined my optics.

"I don't care if you _think_ you should tell me anything, Hook. All you need to know is that you _will_ tell me what I want to know. Why was he here? What's wrong with him?" I heard Megatron bellow back. My body began to relax and my audio receptors were slowly fading out.

"Well, it appears that when you, uh, _had_ Starscream the other solar cycle, he may have gotten..."

And then I fell into recharge.


	5. Panic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short little bridge to the next big event. We start with Megatron, and end with 'Screamer. It should be getting good from here on out.

"What was that again?" I couldn't believe it. I must have a glitch or something, because I could have sworn he just said...

"He's been impregnated Megatron. You've gotten him pregnant. He's going to have your heir," he repeated carefully.

I couldn't believe it. Even still.

"How is that even possible? I-, I-, it can't be mine," I said, looking back at Starscream. Truth be told, I did want to have a family with the mech. But after the war, after Cybertron was a safe place to raise sparklings. Perhaps even after Vos was rebuilt, so if we had seeker sparklings, they could fly high in the city of their ancestors.

"It's yours, Megatron. According to Starscream's body, he had never interfaced before. Not only did you take his virginity, you also got yourself a kid," he argued calmly back.

I walked over to the berth Starscream was on, and sat down on the edge next to him. Absentmindedly I rubbed his helm with my thumb digit. He was so beautiful when he slept, so peaceful. Much better than when he was trying to shoot me in the back.

"Is he aware of this, 'predicament'?" I asked, still focusing on the delicacy of Starscream's face. I began to wonder how he reacted to the news, or how he would react.

"Depends on when he fell into recharge. He might have heard me saying it to you, or he might not have," Hook explained. I nodded in response.

"What do we do? Should I keep him out of battle? Is he supposed to stay on berth-rest? When is this thing supposed to be born?" I began to realize I had no idea about what sparklings require, or even how long it took to make them. I never heard much about them; I had kept myself to content with the war.

"Well, um, you don't need to keep him from battle, though I recommend it since sparklings have a hard time recovering from much at all, even with the mother's systems to help repair it. But he isn't helpless, and there's no need to keep him on berth-rest. And the sparkling should be born in approximately 3 metacycles. So you have some time to, get a plan in action I suppose, before it's born," I took in every word, every detail and stored it away for future use. I will keep him out of battle, as much as possible anyways. I suppose I'll let him roam around the base, but I'd rather put him in a protective energy-bubble.

"What do you mean, 'get a plan in action'?" I asked. Was something going to happen? Was the sparkling doomed to death unless we did something immediately?

"Well, we're at a lack of energon. And seekers in particular need an excessive amount, since sparklings use up so much and seekers hold little. They're bodies are small, so they consume hardly any energon. It keeps their weights light." Hook tried. I thought hard for a moment, and made some quick decisions.

"All my rations go to him, I'll leave now and get a plan together to raid more energon. There will be no need for a 'plan' to keep them alive. I will ensure their survival," I said. I looked at Starscream one last time, then went off to find Soundwave.

* * *

When I woke up, I found a bunch of wires and I.V.s all over me. A bunch were hooked up to energon, some were hooked up to a weird blue substance, and some were just hooked up to monitors. I tried to unplug them from me, but Hook rushed in waving his servos all around and started shouting at me.

"Don't you dare unplug those! They're keeping it alive and healthy!" He said, putting the half-unplugged cables and such back into me.

"What do you mean? I'm fine. Why do I need those?" I asked, completely missing the "it" part of his sentence.

"They're there to keep the sparkling alive. It needs energon, and you unplugging everything will deprive it of it, and it'll take up all of yours. So then not only will it be drained dry, so will you. I'm trying to get you back up to normal levels, but you don't seem to be helping," he nagged.

I was literally shocked into silence. What was he talking about? I wasn't sparked. That was nonsense. Though, it all made perfect sense. I mean, increase in temperature in my chamber, the way Hook looked at my spark earlier, the reason I suddenly purged earlier...

Then I panicked. If Megatron found out, fragging Primus, he'd kill me! I couldn't have this, _thing,_ inside of _me_!

"GET IT OUT!" I shrieked, opening my chamber. My systems began flashing warnings and what not, but I couldn't care less. I didn't want to die.

"Starscream, what are you-, hold still! Stop that!" Hook yelled back. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down, so I tried to kick him. Unfortunately, the other Constructicons came in to help him. Bonecrusher and Scrapper held my legs down, while Long Haul and Scavenger grabbed my arms. Hook ran out to grab some sort of restraint, and tied me down to the berth.

"STOP IT! I'M CLAUSTROPHOBIC!" I screamed louder. I continued thrashing, my spark chamber still open. Apparently Hook didn't like that, as he injected me with some sort of sedative.

"JUST GET IT OUT!" I tried again, but to no avail. My optics fogged up and offlined.

"Get it out... get it out... get it..." I kept trying...

Then everything went black.


	6. Slip Ups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, got some slip-ups going on! And someone's not happy about Starscream's desire for an abortion... but who is it? Find out now! :D
> 
> Oh, and this is all from Megatron's point of view.

"So how much energon did you manage to get?" Hook asked as I walked through the doors. I looked at Starscream, who had the appearance of a dead mental bot. I walked over and noted the restraints on his wrists and legs.

"He woke up in a fit, we had to restrain him," Hook told me, presumably seeing the worried look upon my face plates. I nodded in acknowledgment.

"We have enough to sustain him, for now," I said solemnly, taking my place next to my SIC.

Just then Starscream's blabbering purple idiot of a trine mate came bursting through the doors, followed by a blue trine mate of nearly equal idiocy.

"Where is he? Where's 'Screamer?" He shouted frantically. Thundercracker put his hand on Skywarp's wing and pointed in my direction.

"He's over there, 'Warp," he said, sounding as solemn as I had earlier. Skywarp gasped as he saw my seeker with all the science and medical things poking him and shoving fluids into him, and with great reason. I felt sympathy for the hysterical seeker, knowing exactly how he felt. Starscream looked as if he'd die if any one of those things gave out on him.

"You brute! What did you do to him? Hm? What did Star do to deserve that? Hm? All he ever did was love you! He just wanted you to notice his existence and look, you've nearly killed him!" Skywarp screamed, with a vocal range almost as impressive as Starscream's, might I add.

"Warp," the blue seeker said, pulling the particularly violent looking mech away from me and into a tight embrace. "Stop."

Skywarp began to bawl like a mad-mech, clearly frightened for his trine leader. Thundercracker winced as he felt, at least I thought he felt, Skywarp's pain and anxiety over their bond. Whether that bond was a trine bond or more, I honestly didn't care.

"Skywarp, Thundercracker," Hook started, catching the twos attention. "Starscream will be fine, all these things are to keep the sparkling from draining him dry."

Both looked equally shocked, Thundercracker lost control of his mouth plates and they fell open. Though, he was the first to regain his composure, and expectantly asked, "what?"

Hook sighed, and I turned my attention back to Starscream. I laid my servo on his chamber, and felt the excessive amount of heat. I worried for a moment, and decided I'd ask Hook about it when he was done explaining everything to Dumb and Dumber.

"So, Starscream's gonna have a little seeker sparkling?" the purple seeker asked. I didn't turn my face away from Starscream, but I did strain to catch what Hook was saying.

"Not necessarily. Since Megatron is a ground mech, the sparkling has a 50/50 chance of also being a ground mech."

"But he could have a seeker sparkling, possibly the first in millenniums, right?" Thundercracker asked.

Hook sighed, "that's presuming he doesn't rid himself of it."

I turned my full attention away then, and looked at Hook. "What do you mean? He can't get rid of the thing, can he?" I asked, my spark beating erratically.

"Well, while all of you were gone and Starscream awoke, he screamed 'get it out' over and over. He seems to want what the humans call, an 'abortion'. He wants the sparkling terminated before it can even be born," he told. I looked at the other two seekers, who looked at me, and then we all looked at Starscream.

"Can you really do that? Can you terminate a still-forming sparkling?" Skywarp asked, clutching his trine mate's servo.

"It's possible, yes. I've never done it myself, but I have the tools and the knowledge on how to do it. If he appears to be mentally stable when he requests it, I am supposed to do it," Hook looked almost sad, almost as he told us the bad news.

"What if I order you not to do it? What if I order you to keep the sparkling alive and healthy until it's born?" I could feel the rage building in my circuits. Why would Starscream want to do that anyway?

"It's the carrier's decision. Not the sire's. But my duty as a Decepticon comes before my duty as a surgeon and doctor," he trailed off.

"Good. The sparkling stays alive. If something should happen to it, something will happen to you," I warned.

Skywarp walked over to the other side of Starscream and took his place next to his leader. Thundercracker followed, and sat next to the purple seeker. Skywarp ran his servo down my Air Commander's wing, earning him a quiet and unconscious moan. Then he looked at me and asked, "why do you care if 'Screamer has a sparkling?"

As soon as the words hit me, I began wondering the answer myself. Why did I want a weak sparkling taking up all my SIC's time? Not to mention waste all the energon it would need to grow. It was more of a hazard than an asset.

"I don't know," I honestly said. "I just," I paused as I lost the words. I looked back at he purple seeker, then at the blue one next to him. I grabbed Starscream's sleeping servo with my own. "You said he loves me? Is that true?"

Thundercracker's optics flared to life, remembering Skywarp's slip-up from earlier. I watched as he grabbed the purple seeker's wing and yanked him away. I strained my audio receptors to try and hear them, but they went into the other room and used what I guess was their bond to speak.

"Thundercracker, Skywarp, come back here now," I demanded. A few klicks of silence passed, and I was thinking about yelling again. But Skywarp eventually was the first to slink back round the corner, a guilty look plaguing his face plates. Thundercracker followed soon behind, a look of defeat covering his own.

"Now, answer my question," I demanded again, this time calmly.

"With all due respect, my Lord, but Starscream wouldn't like it if we were to go into, details, about what he may or may not feel for you," Thundercracker said. I smirked and started up my cannon.

"With all due respect, my loyal subject, I don't care what my Second says or thinks right now. You will tell me, or your play-toy here will suffer," I started, pointing my fusion cannon at Skywarp. I didn't need to look at the purple fool to know he was terrified, and the look on Thundercracker's face told me he too was terrified, enough to give me the information I desired.

It took him a few moments and a sigh of defeat before answering me. "Yes, he has admitted to me he has feelings for you, my Lord," close, but not quite.

"What kind of feelings?" I tried to dig deeper.

This time Skywarp was the one to answer, or try. "Starscream doesn't want you to know because he's afraid you'll think he's weak and terminate him," he shot out faster than that pathetic Autobot Blurr.

I sighed, rolled my head around, and put my cannon down. "I will not terminate him. Everything I said and did the other solar cycle was because I was over-energized. And I over-energized because, well, I don't need to explain myself to you. All you need to know is I didn't mean to do what I did," I said. "Now, what kind of feelings does he truly harbor for me?"

"Why did you over-energize again?" I heard a voice croak with exhaustion from beside me. I turned around to see the dim lights of two red optics flicker into barely there life.

"Starscream," I whispered.


	7. It Just Fizzles Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some of you may not be too thrilled with this chapter. It's kinda sad, sorry. But everything happens for a reason, and it will all get better. I promise.
> 
> Point of view starts off with Narrator's, then goes to Starscream's.

"Powerglide, you mean to tell me Starscream is sparked?" Optimus investigated the red glider for any signs of deceit, but found none.

"Yeah, I heard the other two seeker's talking about it on their way back to the Nemesis after the battle. I guess Megatron went ballistic on him after the whole time machine-incident thing and sparked him," Powerglide told like it was a story.

Skyfire instantly lit up, anxious to hear more about his old lover's sparkling. "How far along is he? Is he okay? Is the sparkling a mech or femme? Is it a seeker? Oh, I bet it's a seeker! Has he found a name yet? When will it-" he was cut off by Optimus Prime.

"Easy, Skyfire. I'm sure Powerglide has told us all he knows. Haven't you, Powerglide?" Optimus gestured his servo to his friend, urging him to answer.

"Uh, yeah, I have. Sorry Sky," Powerglide shrugged his shoulders.

Skyfire nodded his held, "that's unfortunate," he muttered. Just then Ratchet came in, looking about frantically for a certain...

"Skyfire, come with me, I've got some news you've been wanting to hear," he said cheerfully, waving to the jet. Skyfire followed him back to the med-bay and was promptly handed a data-pad.

"So, this says I am, so that must mean..."

Rachet cut him off, "you're sparked Skyfire! Congratulations!" Rachet gave his friend a quick hug and a pat on the back.

Skyfire smiled wildly. "I have to go tell Omega. He'll be so happy!"

* * *

"Starscream," I heard him say. He walked back over to me and touched his servo to the side of my helm.

" _Why_ did you over-energize?" I asked again, turning my head from him. He looked like he was at least pondering my question, or answering it rather.

"I'll tell you, if you tell me," he finally said.

"Tell you what?" I asked, genuinely confused. Skywarp and Thundercracker came and sat with me next. Skywarp grabbed my servo and I squeezed his, waiting for Megatron's answer.

"What kind of feelings you have for me," he said quietly, sitting on the edge of the berth.

I was stunned. What kind of question was that? Who in the world told him I have _feelings_ for him? Who could...?

Skywarp.

I turned my helm and glared at my brother, a guilty look spreading across his face plates. Shaking my helm I turned back to Megatron, weighing both outcomes of this situation.

_If I truly admit my feelings, he'll think I'm weak and he'll kill me, but..._

"I hate you. I hate everything you are, I hate everything you ever have been, and I hate everything you ever will be. I hate this thing you've forced to grow inside of me. I hate the way you make me feel when something goes wrong, usually thanks to you. I hate the way you scrunch your face plates when you laugh. I hate your snoring. I hate the way you rub your cannon when your injured. I hate your very existence. I. Hate. You," I lied. I lied my aft off right there. It took every bit of venom I had, every bit of self-control to say it without looking hurt myself.

I focused my optics on Megatron, looking for any signs as to what he was feeling or thinking at the moment. I saw what looked like a flash of hurt, and then all I saw was anger and fury walk out the med-bay doors.

After they slid shut, TC looked back at me and Skywarp gripped my servo tighter. My blue trine mate asked me quietly and confused, "why the frag would you say that?"

I offlined my optics and started crying, shamelessly this time. "I don't want to die," I whispered.

"Oh 'Screamer, he said he wasn't going to kill you! He loves-," Skywarp tried to comfort me, but I didn't need lies to make me feel better.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, Skywarp," I threatened.

It was Thundercracker's turn to try and help. "Starscream, you don't understand. While you were under the sedatives, Megatron brought us all out, to the first energy resource we found, to raid energon to keep you and the sparkling alive. He risked his own life to help save yours. Optimus Prime had him pinned down, Ionic Blaster pointed right at his helm. Megatron was about to die, but some how he was stronger than he ever has been before. He pushed Optimus off of him like he was nothing. I wouldn't lie to you, Starscream. He was stronger because of you. You were the reason to push on through today. I don't care what you think, that mech loves you."

I took in his words, but didn't believe I truly was the reason. I bit my mouth plates and started crying harder. Why would they say these things? Why would they try to make me feel like the bad guy?

"Where's Hook? I need him," I managed to sob out. I calmed myself as much as I could, drying my optics and regulating my venting cycles.

"Right here," he replied, coming out of his office as if waiting for a cue.

"I need you to get this thing out of me, _now_ ," I said. Hook looked scared for a moment, and I for the life of me couldn't figure out why.

"Starscream, Megatron ordered him not to," Thundercracker said. I looked at him and then over to Hook, not being able to believe his words.

"Is that true?" I asked. How could Megatron do this to me? How could he force me to have a sparkling? What kind of torturous punishment was that?

"Yes, it's true. I'm sorry," he said, his voice went monotone.

I couldn't believe it. I blinked the liquids from my optics and just, stared. But I had already made a decision. I didn't want this, _thing_. Even if Megatron didn't kill me, I knew I couldn't deal with something as weak and defenseless as a sparkling. But I also knew I couldn't deal with knowing if I did have one, and I didn't raise it, someone else would be raising my sparkling. Someone else would be starving it, beating it, telling it it's worthless, taking advantage of it...

"I'm sorry, sire," I whispered. I opened my spark chambers, dead set on what I was going to do.

I saw my own spark, basking in all it's glory. Then I saw the bane of my existence, that little blue spark floating near my own. I heard someone gasp close to me, presumably Skywarp, but before anyone could force me to do anything or not do anything, I grabbed the little thing and tore it from my chest.

Nothing Megatron had ever done to me had ever felt that painful. Nothing ever compared to it. Nothing ever would compare. I'd rather die than live through it again. It was excruciating, but it was necessary.

It's funny, watching a spark die. A poor, tiny, defenseless spark. A spark that never had a chance at life. It just, fizzled out in my servo. And it's gone. Something that takes so much complicated coding, so much time to make, and it just, fizzles out.

That was the last thing I saw before a world of black enveloped me.


	8. Sires and Sparklings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> POV goes from Starscream (dreaming) to Starscream to Narrator

" _You fraggin' little slut. You enjoy all that, don't you?" He laughed. His optics bore into mine, covering me with every little bit of hunger and sadomasochism he could._

" _Please, sire, I'm sorry. I won't do it again!" I begged. All I wanted was a cube of energon. I couldn't even remember the last time I had some._

" _Oh, but you will. I doesn't matter how many times I grace you with my love. You always want more," he said, slapping me hard across the face plates. "I should have killed your mother before you were born. You look just like her, you know. Fear and all," he laughed again._

_I offlined my optics in a vain attempt to get myself as far away as I could, even if it was only psychologically._

" _That's okay though, as long as you stay this tight, I'll let you live. You can make me money, you worthless piece of scrap. Make me and all those other mechs come, and you'll have a roof over your head," he said, finishing up._

_I knew that was a lie. Half the time he didn't want to look at me, so he'd stick me outside to rust in the rain, or worse, try and run from the acid rain. He didn't care about me. He didn't need me anyways. Our family was filthy rich, there was no need for me to pleasure bots for money._

" _Here, if you're still hungry, you'll eat this," he smiled, taking some of his fluids from my port and sticking it to my face._

" _No thank you, sire. I'm not hungry anymore," I said as innocently as I could. Too bad it didn't work._

" _You ungrateful little bitch!" He yelled, and he slapped me again._

" _I'm sorry!" I screamed, and I tried desperately to get away from him, but he'd have none of it._

" _Get back here, you piece of scrap. Face me like a real mech," he yelled. I started crying even more so now, and he laughed harder when he saw it._

" _Pathetic little Starscream," he said, pinning me down. "Would you like to know why I named you that? Hm? Because I knew the only thing you'd ever be useful at was making a mech see stars while you scream. So how 'bout it Starscream? Make your Daddy proud. **Scream** " He said, letting me go._

_I tried running again, but I was too small and slow to get far. He grabbed me by my wings and pulled me back until they both snapped clean off, then he started kicking and punching me. I covered my face plates as best as I could, but it wasn't working. The pain was unbearable. And to think, all because I hadn't had any energon in days._

" _Go, go starve in the streets you little fragger. See if I care," He said, picking me and my wings up and throwing me out. It was pouring again, as it had been lately. Still acid rain too. I tried to run back inside, but he locked the doors. So I picked up my wings and ran. And ran. And ran._

* * *

I woke up back in the med-bay, or rather, I never left. I could tell there was some pretty heavy duty pain killers running through my systems, though I couldn't remember why.

It seemed like it took all the strength in the world to turn my head and online my optics, but I did it. At first I saw a massive gray blob, but as my optics slowly onlined I realized...

_Megatron._

Upon further inspection, he was recharging. He had his massive arms crossed on the edge of the berth I was laying on, and his head rested on top. He was snoring right next to my audio receptors, but I didn't mind. I tried to struggle closer, but my body was in such bad shape from something, I couldn't move at all.

"Would you like to be closer, 'Screamer?" I heard from next to me. Instantly I recognized the voice as Skywarp. I couldn't utilize my vocal receptors at all, so I told him "yes" over the bond.

"'Kay, here we go," he said, picking me up as gently as possible and laying me down so my body was limply touching Megatron. Even though to Skywarp it felt like he hardly touched me, it felt like a million flames were constricted into every square metameter of my body to me.

What the hell happened?

" _You don't remember?"_ Skywarp asked me, putting our bond to good use.

" _I take it you're sensing my confusion?"_ I asked back.

" _Yeah. Star, what's the last thing you remember?"_ He asked me. I thought long and hard, trying desperately to find the newest thing in my memory banks.

" _Slag, we came back from medieval times and I hugged Megatron."_

" _That's the last thing you remember? Frag Star, I might have to get Hook."_

" _Why? What's wrong?"_

" _Star, you were sparked. By Megatron. He got over-energized and raped you for hugging him on the battle field after you got back. Then you flipped out, and you took the little sparkling right out of your chest. Me and TC and Hook watched you."_

I thought about what he was saying, but none of it made any sense. I kept looking at Megatron, wondering. Even if Skywarp was somehow telling me the truth, why would he be here now?

" _I don't believe you. Tell me the truth, and tell me why Megatron is here."_

This time it was TC to awaken and answer me, _"He is telling the truth, Star. And Megatron's here because even if you hurt him, he still loves you. And he's still concerned and worried for you."_

" _Why would you two lie to me about the only thing that matters to me anymore?"_

Skywarp looked like he was about to cry, obviously hurt and fed-up. But still, none of it made sense. Why would Megatron rape me? All he's ever done before was beat me. And why would he be laying here with me? Why would every bit of my circuitry feel like it's on fire? Why?

" _Starscream, you've trusted me since day one,"_ Thundercracker tried again. _"And I've always trusted you. I would never lie to you about anything that makes you happy, especially Megatron. Why can't you see it? Sure, you make him so fraggin' angry that he beats the slag out of you, but look at how much you have to do before he does. Or notice how he's never terminated you, and demands you're always fully repaired immediately, even though if any of us even thought about doing what you do, we would be deactivated without a second thought. And you may not see it, but everyone around here notices the way he stares at you when you don't look. It's not just a hungry stare, but a loving stare. You are cared for, you are wanted, and you are loved."_

I was bawling by the time TC was done. I wasn't sure I could ever fully believe it, but Megatron was here. And everything, well, except for the supposed staring, was true. Megatron did always seem to have the most patients for me, it seemed he really tried. Any other bot was just killed.

That's when Megatron too decided to wake up. First he made the odd yet adorable half-snoring sound that told us his systems were re-onlining, then came the red flare of his optics, and last came his lifting his helm up to look around, to see what's going on and who was there.

He looked down at me, looking at him, and put his helm level with mine. "Starscream..." he smiled.

I tried to smile too, but I was in a pit of a lot of pain.

"How are you feeling?" He asked me, dragging one of his digits lightly across my face. It hurt, but I tolerated it. There was no way I'd ever get this kind of touch again, so I was going to enjoy it, even if that meant I could only mentally enjoy it.

Hook decided he'd come in and break up this, reunion, before I could attempt to answer.

"Is he still in a lot of pain?" He asked around, looking like he was holding more sedatives and pain killers.

"Pain?" Megatron looked up and then back down at me. "You didn't say you were in pain."

Skywarp decided to jump in and answer this time. "Yeah doc, he is. He can't even speak. I asked him if he wanted me to move him closer to Megatron when he first woke up, and he had to use our trine bond to answer me."

If I had the energy to smack him, I would have. Nobot needed to know about that, not Hook, not Thundercracker, and definitely not Megatron. Thank Primus TC was there to smack him in the back of the helm for me.

"Did you now? I thought you hated me," Megatron smiled again, laying his helm back down on his crossed servos again.

"Oh, he doesn't have any memory of that. All he remembers is when he came back from King Arthur's court and hugged you," Skywarp put in.

Hook sighed, "I was afraid of that. It seems his little 'tearing out a sparkling' fit has fried a great deal of his circuits. I've been trying to replace some, but his body can only handle so much. It doesn't surprise me his memory banks were corrupted as well, especially after such a trauma. Pit, they probably regressed so they wouldn't remember the pain." He explained, and I took in every word. So TC and Skywarp were telling the truth, but I still didn't like it. It still didn't make any sense.

I tried to speak, I wanted to tell Megatron I was sorry, but my vocalizer wasn't working, and all that came out was a hoarse whisper.

Megatron looked even more worried, and lightly touched my servo. "Shh, go into recharge. I'll still be here when you wake up," he said. That was a lie, he had an army to command. Chances were good that he couldn't be here when I got back, because he'd probably be in battle.

"Here you go, Starscream. You'll be back in blissful recharge in no-time," Hook said.

I shook my helm, and was met with a searing pain in my neck circuits. Skywarp re-opened our bond and asked, "what's wrong?"

"I don't want to go into recharge! He's there!" I got out into the link.

"Who?" TC asked, and I tried to answer, but the sedatives were really quick-working.

"My, my, s-, si-," and then I was back into the black.

* * *

"Omega! Old friend! It worked! I'm sparked!" Skyfire positively gleamed as he took to landing and transforming back into his robo-self.

"Omega is pleased, and excited to be a sire," he bellowed, he too transformed back into his robot mode.

Skyfire immediately jumped into his lover's arms and snuggled against his chassis.

"We're having a sparkling," he whispered.

"I love you," Omega replied. Truthfully, Omega was more than excited to have a sparkling. He could teach him the ways of the guardians, and Skyfire could teach him the way of scientists. And maybe, just maybe...

"Do you think it will fly like you?" Omega asked, imagining his own little version of a sparkling doing flips and turns in the air.

Skyfire practically shook with excitement, "I hope so! Oh Omega, this is so great. I can't even, I just, I can't tell you how happy I am." The jet giggled with anxiety and happiness.

"Did I tell you Starscream is with sparkling too? He and Megatron will have the first seekerling in millions of vorns! Maybe when the war is over, and Starscream and I are friends again, our sparklings can practice their aerial stunts and maneuvers together." He exclaimed. Omega didn't look to thrilled though.

"How do you know Starscream will be friends with you again? After you chose our side over his? And how do you know he's having a sparkling?" He reasoned. Skyfire's happiness seemed to subside a little.

"You're right. Sorry," he sighed. Skyfire always was known to blow things, any things, way out of proportion. Starscream hated him now. He'd never let his sparkling around him or Omega or their sparkling. It just wouldn't work.

"I know he's with sparkling because Powerglide overheard the other two Seekers talking about it," he admitted. Although at this point it sounded more like a rumor than the truth.

"Go to re-charge, Skyfire. Your energy readings are low," Omega told him. Skyfire took the advice gladly and turned a bit in Omega's arms, giving Omega access to rub his wings.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Omega Supreme loves you too."


	9. The Reasons Why

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we have a bit of an OC, obviously, who's Starscream's "sire" and everything. But there's also my own concoction of how my personal favorite little trine came to be. We also get some slight TCxSW with some OPxIH. Nothing graphic, but you know what's going on!
> 
> POV goes from Starscream (dreaming) to Thundercracker to Optimus Prime

" _Starscream, that man wasn't your sire," they told me. I blinked my optics in shock, of course he was my sire! He had raised me since I was just a seeker sparkling!_

" _Ye-ye-yes he was," I told them. How could they not see it? What possibly made them tell me otherwise?_

" _No, he's not. Your sire left your mother the day he found out she was sparked with you. Then she got with Starflash, and then you were born. After that, Starflash murdered her, and kept you. He's not your sire, and he never has been," they explained. I started crying again, I couldn't believe it. How could somebot leave a sparked femme to try and fend for herself? And on top of that, who could kill a femme whom just had a sparkling?_

" _I want to go home," I said, desperate to leave this place and get back to my sire. Maybe if I apologized, maybe if I did those things to the mechs that he wanted me to do, then maybe he'd take me back._

" _I'm sorry, Starscream, but nobot is there. You'll have to have a foster creator. We're looking fast for one, I promise." They told me. But I didn't want to hear it. I covered my audio receptors and screamed._

* * *

Skywarp continued to fidget in our seat back at the break room, still worried about Starscream. Megatron had ordered us to get some energon and take a break, leaving him with our trine leader all alone.

"Skywarp," I started, trying to relax him. His emotions tended to bounce about more than mine, so it was important that I tried to calm him down.

"Why wouldn't he want a sparkling?" He turned to me. I sighed, as I had been wondering that question too. I thought long and hard about what the answer could be, but I wasn't sure if Skywarp knew about Star's past.

"What is Starscream's biggest fear?" I asked him, wondering how much he truly knew. Starscream had confided in me the day he came to the orphanage, but Skywarp's processor wasn't stable enough even then to have Starscream confide in him as well as me. So I got him through everything, practically raised him and Skywarp myself, since nobot seemed to want us.

"Um, is it, no, um," He looked as though he was genuinely thinking, but that didn't mean he knew what the answer was.

"Starscream's greatest fear is to be left alone," I supplied.

"Right, I knew that," he nodded and smiled. "Wait, why is he afraid to be alone again?"

I sighed again, this was going to be a long conversation. "He's afraid to be alone because if he's left alone, he thinks it means nobot cares for him, like when his sire abused him and left him to die," I explained.

"His sire really did that? But I thought we were brothers," Skywarp asked. He was starting to cry, and looked really confused. I got up and stood next to him, energon still in hand.

"Maybe we should take this back to our quarters; it's more private there," I offered my mate my servo, and he nodded and took it.

"None of us have the same creators, Skywarp. Back at the orphanage, before Starscream came, I met you," I started, recalling the events like the back of my hand. It still angered me and made me upset to think about them, but I suppose Skywarp had a right to know.

"You were so little, and your wings hadn't grown yet, so you still had adorable little stubs. A bunch of other seekers were picking on you, calling you 'Stubs-a-lot' and asking you how you expected to fly with them. You were crying and they cornered you, and eventually I couldn't take it anymore. You hadn't done anything wrong, you were just the smallest, so the most vulnerable to their names. I went over, being the biggest, and pushed them all aside so I could get to you. I picked you up and brought you to my berth, and I held you in my arms until you cried yourself to sleep," I explained. Once I finished my sentence, we were at the door. I let go of Skywarp's servo and handed him my energon, punching in the code to our room.

"Aw, TC, you're so sweet, always looking out for me," he smiled. I was glad I got his processor off onto something else.

I walked over to our joined berths and took my energon back. 'Warp got on and cuddled up next to me, like he always had. He looked up at me, with those same fiery optics I fell in love with all those vorns ago.

"Then what happened? Tell me TC!" He exclaimed, seemingly excited for me to finish the story.

"Well, I took you under my wing," I started, and he giggled. "No pun intended," I smiled back. "None of the other sparklings ever bothered you again, because they knew I'd beat the slag out of them if they did. And we laughed, and talked, and joked, and it was about a metacycle later when Starscream joined us. The officers arrested some guy claiming to be his sire, but really he killed his carrier and his actual sire left before he was born, so he had no where to go. Nobot would take him, and they were forced to leave him at the orphanage. He was younger than you were when I decided to take care of him too, and a lot smaller. The other seekerlings just picked on you, but they actually physically hurt him. I decided I wasn't going to let that happen, and even though at first he didn't trust you, he eventually came around. You both were so young, and I didn't want you to remember why you came to the orphanage in the first place, so I started calling both of you my brothers. That stuck, and you two called each other and me 'brother' too. We stuck together until we got out, and here we are now," I told. Skywarp sat and took it all in, not sure how to respond.

"So Starscream's afraid to have a sparkling because he doesn't ever want it to feel the way he did?" Honestly, Skywarp's not as stupid as some mechs like to believe.

"I think that's a big part of the reason, yes. But Megatron has led everyone to believe, especially Starscream, that he hates anything even remotely weak; Starscream thinks if he's sparked, Megatron will kill him because he's defenseless, or if he doesn't, he'll kill the sparkling as soon as it's born," I continued. I was proud of myself, that seemed like a valid and quite possible answer as to why Starscream tore the spark away from his own.

"But TC, I thought carriers really loved their sparklings, no matter how old," he looked back up at me and I tried my best to answer him.

"Right, but he was really jacked up on whatever Hook had given him and terrified, he probably really didn't know what he was doing. My best guess? He's going to have what the human mothers have, what's it called? Postpartum Depression?" I thought. That sounded right, but even if it wasn't, Starscream was still going to be depressed.

"What's that?" Sometimes Skywarp asked too many questions, but this was one time I'd let it slide, because it was all within good reason. He tossed the empty cube on the floor and turned all his attention towards me, so I took the last gulp of my energon and threw the cube too.

"It's when they get really sad because they aren't close to their offspring anymore, and I think Starscream might fall victim to it," I rubbed Skywarp's wing the same way I always do. I love the way he seems to melt into the touch of it.

Skywarp moaned. "I hope he and Megatron can get together, and have a sparkling," he whispered. I nodded and caught his lips with mine.

After a moment of passionate kissing, I asked him, "have you ever thought about having a sparkling with me?"

"A lot," he whispered, and kissed me again. I took that as an invitation, and began the ritual.

* * *

Optimus held his long time mate in his arms, running his servo across Iron Hide's back and spinal struts while he slept.

It seemed to him everyone was getting sparked. Skyfire had been sparked, Starscream had been sparked, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker even came back with news that Thundercracker and Skywarp were working on one of their own.

Optimus had always wanted a sparkling, he and Elita 1 had always talked about it. Iron Hide had never said anything, but he assumed his mate would be happy to have one too.

Besides, this war had gone on far too long without any happiness. It be nice if both sides took a break and raised some sparklings.

Iron Hide stirred in his recharge, and for a moment, Optimus thought he might get a chance to talk to him about it. But Iron Hide was still deep in recharge bliss, and so Optimus just thought of more ways to talk to him about it. What he'd say, when they'd do it, how perfect it would be, all of it.


	10. Arguing With Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is all Megatron's point of view. Just him battling with himself some more. Got some Soundwave in here too, a bit OOC, but funny nonetheless.

He didn't know it yet, but he was already mine. I wanted him for my bondmate, I knew I did. It'd be perfect, we wouldn't argue nearly as much, be unstoppable in battle, and I could freely tell him how much I needed him.

_You're pathetic._

_For what? Wanting to be a decent mech and stop this insufferable slag going on between my second and I?_

_For being in love. You've said it yourself. Love is a weakness._

_I didn't mean it._

_But you said it. And don't you always say what you mean?_

I sighed, and grabbed Starscream's servo again. It was so small compared to mine. I brought it to my lip plates and kissed it, hoping I'd be able to do it again someday, once we bonded.

_How do you even function with yourself?_

_Oh Primus, what now?_

_You beat him. You raped him. You forced him to do something that nearly killed him. And you want to bond with him? Do you seriously think that would happen?_

_The other seekers already told me he loves me._

_He did, but do you really think he still does? After all that? He told you himself that he hates you. What were his exact words again?_

I cringed. I didn't want to think about what he had told me earlier. Thundercracker and Skywarp already assured me that he didn't mean it, and if the recent display of him wanting to be closer to me meant anything...

_His cicuits held more painkillers and sedatives than energon. He had no idea what he was doing. He already told you the truth._ _"I hate you. I hate everything you are, I hate everything you ever have been, and I hate everything you ever will be. I hate this thing you've forced to grow inside of me. I hate the way you make me feel when something goes wrong, thanks to you. I hate the way you scrunch your face plates when you laugh. I hate your snoring. I hate the way you rub your cannon when your injured. I hate your very existence. I. Hate. You."_

I could feel the liquids pooling in my optics again, memories of the venom in those words forcing me into despair. But then I remembered what Thundercracker had told me earlier, "he's just afraid you'll kill him." They said he was lying, and that was what I wanted to go by.

_Oh shut up, you old fool. He's told you he hates you before. This time is no different, and you know it._

_I'm going to rid myself of you, one of these days._

_You can't. I am you. You'd have to deactivate yourself to get rid of me. Besides, why would you want to? I'm what's kept you strong in this war. I'm the voice of reason. I'm what's keeping your drive for the ruling and rebuilding Cybertron alive._

_Optimus has done fine without you._

_Comparing yourself to your enemy? How mature. That's what's gonna win this war here, folks! Acting like the enemy!_

_Shut up, he's waking up._

_So I suppose you're going to apologize like a spinal relay-less fool?_

_SHUT UP._

"Welcome back, Starscream," I whispered. I watched him smile weakly, acknowledging the greeting. I bent over and kissed his fore-helm, desperate for him to realize I wouldn't hurt him.

_It doesn't matter, he hates you nonetheless._

I bit my mouth plates and thought of a way to put what I wanted to say, regardless of what my voice of "reason" said. Still holding onto Starscream's servo, I looked down and took a deep cycle of air in.

"Starscream," I started, mind still wandering about. Regardless of what he feels for me, be it hatred and hostility or love and affection, he had the right to hear this. "I want you to know and realize that no matter what you do, or what you say, or how cowardly and treacherous you act, I, I," I stuttered. I had never said what I meant to before. To anyone. I felt Starscream squeeze my servo as a sign to continue, so I tried. "Please, don't be afraid of me. Your trine mates said you were, and that's why you didn't want to keep the sparkling. I won't terminate you, ever. If I wanted to, I would've done so by now. But I won't, and I can't, because I, well, you know, I," I rubbed the back of my helm with my free servo, trying hard to say it.

That's when I felt the smack to the back of my helm. "Demand: Just say it already!"

"I love you."

Starscream smiled again, like a giddy sparkling. And I took that opportunity to look behind me and glare murderously at my telepathic Third in Command.

"Suggestion: I should have done that vorns ago."

I smiled slightly, deciding to let this one time pass. "Just, don't do that again, or I will not hesitate to deactivate you."

Soundwave nodded in acknowledgment, then went around the corner to Hook's office. I had no idea why, but I honestly didn't care.

"I," came a heavy, drawn out response from next to me. I turned my attention back to Starscream, hoping maybe, just maybe...

"L-love," he tried harder. I could see he was straining, but I felt it was necessary for the both of us.

"Alright, Starscream, time for more work,"Hook said, rushing from his office with a box and Soundwave hot on his tail. He turned to me, "you'll have to leave for this one, my lord. He has a lot more cables I still have to replace."

"It can wait a moment or two more. What was that, Starscream?" I turned back to him, eager to hear the rest.

"I-, I-, lov-v-v-e," he tried again. I could see Hook put more sedatives into the IV bag, and I reminded myself to do everything but terminate him for it later.

"Come on Starscream, just a little bit more," I tried to encourage, but it was too late. The sedatives were already beginning to work, and Hook was all but pushing Soundwave and I out of the med-bay.

"Thanks Soundwave, that's all I needed to know. Now the both of you, out!" He exclaimed, rushing like a madman. Once out of the doors, I turned to Soundwave. Luckily, I didn't even have to say what I was thinking.

_You, me, telling whatever you told Hook, in my quarters, now._


	11. First Stage: Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Point of view goes from Megatron, to Starscream.

"Response: Hook wanted me to find information on Starscream's history; he couldn't find it in his medical records, my Lord." Soundwave blat out monotonously.

"But why did Hook need to know this?" I asked, sitting down in my chair. I put my stabilizing servos up on the desk and folded my arms behind my head, classic human position.

"Answer: To better understand why Starscream aborted the sparkling, how to deal with it, and how to prevent it. He wasn't sure if it was a glitch or something more," he answered again.

I offlined my optics and pondered for a moment. Why _did_ Starscream abort the sparkling?

"Reasons: He didn't want it to ever feel alone, and he didn't want to get attached and become weak, something his leader hates, my Lord," clearly Soundwave was listening in on my thoughts. I could block him out, but I chose not to. Besides, I didn't really have the energy to talk much. I needed to save it for Starscream.

_And Starscream felt this way because..._

"History: Starscream was abused, neglected, and raped as a sparkling. He was forced outside and then ran away, and his sire was arrested. He finished his sparklinghood in an orphanage with Thundercracker and Skywarp, while suppressing all his memories until now."

_Why now?_

"Answer: You."

I was completely silent and still for a moment, no thoughts, no speaking, no anything. That answer hit me so hard, I was completely blank as a response. He was right, it was my fault.

"Soundwave, what am I going to do? Starscream nearly deactivated himself when he tore the sparkling, _my_ sparkling, from his chassis. He's insane...!" I said, feeling emotionally, down.

"Suggestion: Talk to him about it. Even if he can't respond, make yourself vulnerable. Tell him it upset you that he did it, and tell him why. Don't yell, don't hit, or you'll remind him of his past traumas. And if you really want a sparkling, bond before you try again."

"I told him I love him, how can I get any more vulnerable?" I asked. It was getting harder for my ventilation system to cycle, and I could feel something odd in my throat. What in the pit was wrong with me?

"Suggestion: Still tell him you love him, and tell him why. Tell him secrets you swore to Primus never to tell anybody. Heal him, love him, and bond with him."

I choked back whatever was burning in my throat, and told Soundwave: "Thank you Soundwave, you have been helpful. You are free to go."

* * *

I woke up, not too surprisingly, still in the med-bay. My legs felt almost as if they were burning in the pits themselves. I tried to get up, but was still so overwhelmingly drugged that I couldn't. Nobot was in there with me, and unfortunately, I was left to think to myself.

I didn't like too much time to myself; I didn't like being alone.

I tried to start up my comm. link, and Thundercracker answered it, but I couldn't speak while under the influence of the sedatives, so I was forced to end it. It was only a matter of astroseconds though before Skywarp came warping in with the blue mech I attempted to make contact with.

"'Screamer! You're still online!" He screamed, running over to me. The idiot practically jumped on me, rampantly sending near fire coursing through my circuits. I tried to speak again, but all I got out was a strangled gasp.

"Skywarp, get the pit off of him!" I heard TC yell from behind him. Just then Hook came rushing in, looking as if he was just in the middle of running what the pathetic Earthlings call a "marathon."

"What in the pit is going on in here?" He yelled. I cringed at the loudness of his vocalizer.

"Sorry Hook, but Starscream me and didn't actually say anything, so I had Skywarp warp us in. I didn't mean for him to get out of control," Thundercracker explained, glaring murderously at our brother for the last bit. Skywarp slinked off of me and sat next to me, guilty-looking as ever.

Hook slapped his helm, "you can't just do that! Do you have any idea how fragile he is right now? You could have just put him in massive amounts of pain!" He seethed. If I could speak at the moment, I'd tell him "you go, Constructicreep! Tell 'em!"

Skywarp, surprisingly, didn't back down. "I'm sorry, okay! I didn't mean to hurt him! Do you honestly think I could ever do that? I mean really! No respect!"

Hook looked momentarily taken back before returning his glossa lashing. "You jumped on him! JUMPED. Of course that would hurt him! You sparklings are the ones who know nothing about respect!"

"Okay, the both of you, calm down. This isn't helping Starscream any." Thundercracker broke out. "Skywarp, Hooks right. You shouldn't have jumped on Star," Skywarp huffed and crossed his arms while Hook smirked with victory. "And Hook, we're just as old as you are, if not a little older. There's no point in trying to insult us with age," Hook lost his smirk and Skywarp calmed down.

"Starscream, is there anything you need?" He turned to me. Cursing my still inability to speak, I started the bond link.

 _Energon, painkillers, Megatron, quiet, possibly high-grade..._ I started listing off.

"I'll get Megatron!" Skywarp lit up. If I had the energy, I would have banged my helm into the table hard enough and quick enough to destroy it. What an idiot.

Thundercracker, equally upset Skywarp said that out loud, helm-servod himself. "I'll get you energon, no high-grade though. Hook, could you please get Starscream some painkillers?" He said, turning to the surgeon.

"Yeah," was his answer, before leaving in the direction of his office.

Thundercracker nodded in my direction before leaving for energon.

I didn't even realize I said his name over the bond. It just, happened. And Skywarp just fleed to get him.

I was a dead mech.

I fought to keep my optics online, staring at the blank ceiling above me to keep from falling into my thoughts. Hook momentarily returned, just quick enough to give me the medication before being off on his way again.

A flash of purple caught my attention, and I turned my sensors in it's direction.

"I got him 'Screamer! Just like you asked!" Skywarp beamed, smiling like the idiot he is. Megatron looked over at me and gave a slight smile too, before walking in my direction. Once he left Skywarp's side, my trine mate was gone in a flash. For the first time in a long time, I craved his company again.

Megatron looked at me, and I looked at him. And he looked at me. And I looked at him. And he looked at me. And I feared for my life.

"Starscream," he started, like he had so many times before, "I need to talk to you about the, um, sparkling, we were going to have."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. Where's TC? I need him back, _now_.

Megatron sighed, and sat on the edge of my berth. "I want you to know, I wanted that sparkling. And I, um, well I wanted it-" We both looked over as the doors slid open to reveal a blue seeker. I thanked Primus, whereas Megatron looked like he was cursing him.

 _Thundercracker, stay with me. It still fries me to talk_ , I told him.

He nodded and attempted to give me my energon. Unfortunately, I couldn't sit up and he couldn't give it to me while holding me up. Megatron looked confused, but quickly stood up and helped lift me up. This time wasn't as painful as the last, and I suspected Hook had been working on putting me back together.

Megatron continued to hold me up with but one servo, while Thundercracker put the cube to my lips and gently poured it. Certainly one of the most humiliating moments in my life, but worth it.

 _What's wrong? Megatron won't hurt you,_ Thundercracker told me back over the bond.

_He wants to talk about, that thing, that was growing inside me. And I can't respond and tell him to shut up, like I can you._

_Star, maybe you should just listen. Just, hear him out, okay?_

_I don't need to hear him out_ , I scowled, _I just need him to shut up and forget about it. He already knows how I feel about him, he doesn't need to know anything further. And so help me Primus if you tell him... thinking it will help... because it won't..._

"What are you two talking about?" Megatron butted in. He must have seen my facial expressions towards Thundercracker, and felt it his need to know.

Thundercracker looked, troubled, and I coughed a bit, to try to get him to say something.

 _Lie to him, you idiot!_ I yelled.

"Uh, we were discussing, private matters, my Lord," He sputtered out. _Fragger._

"What kind of private matters? Don't bother lying, or I will get Soundwave in here, and if he tells me you are in the slightest..." He threatened. _Fragger._

 _Thundercracker, just shut up,_ I warned, _or I won't bring in a telepathic idiot, I will kill you._

_But, Starscream, what's the worst Megatron could do?_

_EVERYTHING. Honestly, TC, where did the Academy find idiots like you?_

I watched him contemplate his situation, clearly at a loss. I continued to scowl at him, Megatron doing the same.

"Things that happened to him in the past prevent him from wanting to talk about the sparkling," he finally said, facing Megatron. He spared a quick glance and shrug at me, and I was ready to deactivate him myself.

Megatron sighed. "He doesn't need to talk about it, but I do," he threw his crossed arms apart and turned around, looking like he just watched somebot die or something.

Thundercracker looked up, "my Lord, although Starscream is my trine leader and Air Commander, you are the complete ruler over the Decepticons. And even though Starscream commands me to stay here, to voice his opinions, what do you command?"

He turned back around and looked at him for a moment. He didn't appear violent, or happy, or angry, just, undecided.

"Thank you, Thundercracker. You and Skywarp have been helpful. But I think it's best if you leave," He said quietly.

 _Thundercracker, don't. I need you. Don't do this to me. Don't leave me here. Please,_ I begged. This couldn't be happening. But it was.

Thundercracker looked at me and sighed. "Starscream is pretty bad right now, not just physically, but emotionally. I doubt you know what happened to him-"

"I do." Both Thundercracker and I looked in shock as he cut him off, not sure whether he was lying or telling the truth.

"Well, regardless, this is a very touchy subject. Starscream is probably developing depression, whether he knows it or not," he said, glaring at me, "and we _all_ need to take that into account."

Megatron looked like he was taking in the words completely, and agreeing with them. "I'll be careful," were his chosen parting words. TC nodded, walked over to me, and whispered "good luck" before running his servo down my wing and turning to exit the med-bay.

_FRAGGER._

We both watched as the doors slid open, he walked out, and then slide closed again. Megatron turned his attention back to me.

"I know what you've gone through, Starscream. If you wish to know how, Soundwave spied on your trine mates to find out. Though I must say, I'm shocked you aren't really related."

What was he talking about? Of course we're related. We have the same creators. We're brothers.

"I know what your sire did, not in details like you obviously do, but I know enough to want to deactivate the fragger myself," he continued.

What?

"But that shouldn't be a reason we can't have a sparkling or sparklings. I'll protect them, if you don't want to. I'll make sure they're okay, and happy. All I'm asking is that you give it another chance, please. You won't have to do anything you don't want to after. I'll raise them on my own, if you want. I don't care. I just want them, but I want them with you." He ranted, waving his servos about like a madbot.

I could feel the liquids running off my optics and down on my face plates. "Starscream," I heard him whisper, coming back next to me and wiping the liquids away.

This wasn't happening. Either this wasn't Megatron, or he was just plotting some vicious scheme to deactivate me. Probably the later of the two.

"Don't kill me," I managed to forcibly choke out. It took everything I had, but the energon gave me the boost to say it. Megatron looked taken back, but I didn't buy it.

"Star, I won't kill you," he whispered, using the nickname only my trine used with me.

I cried more, still not believing it. Was he going to rape me again? Was I going to be forced to have a sparkling, just so he could kill it? Or worse, torture it, and beat it, and neglect it, and...

" _You worthless piece of scrap! I'll kill you for this! After everything I did for you!" He screamed, being dragged along like a toy after the court adjourned._

I shook my helm, trying desperately to escape the nightmare forcing itself on me. _  
_

" _I'm sorry!" I yelled back. I didn't want this, but it was my fault. I should have never listened to the officers. They ruined my life._

" _You will be when I'm through with you, fragger! You're done! Hear me? Over!" He yelled, the doors finally slamming behind him. I dropped to my knees and cried. Hard._

No bot or sparkling alike deserved to go through everything I had.

_Flashbang knelt down next to me. "It's okay, Starscream. We're going to take you to a place with tons of sparklings, many your age. It will be okay, you'll see."_

" _It will never be okay," I whispered in response. I meant it too. Nothing would ever be okay again._


	12. Second Stage: Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV goes from Skyfire, to Starscream, to Thundercracker, back to Skyfire.

"You're joking," I glared. I really hoped he wasn't, because that's nothing to joke about. Nonetheless...

"I'm sorry, Sky. But I'm not. Word on the Nemesis is that Starscream literally ripped it from his chest. All the Decepticreeps are talking about it. And I guess Megatron is pretty shook up too, 'cause there's no news on any raids popping up soon," Sunstreaker told me. I just stood there, staring at him. Liquids were pooling in my optics, and I was suddenly craving Omega's touch again.

"Does Optimus know about this yet?" I choked out.

"Aww, Skyfire, don't cry. But yeah, he does, you know we always report to him first," Sideswipe tried, running his servo up and down my arm in a comforting manner.

"I just, can't believe Starscream would do that," I told them. "Back in the old days, just before we took off on explorations, he'd tell me of marrying some mech and having a sparkling," I started, recalling the old memories. I smiled, "never a femme though. He didn't like them, he said they reminded him too much of himself. Then when he first saw Megatron, oh boy, was he helm over thrusters."

I saw Sideswipe smile too, obviously believing my tale. It was true, after he saw Megatron, Starscream wanted to be with him. I advised against it, but the old brute's optic was caught by Starscream and suddenly Megatron had to have him too. Then I was lost, Starscream fought for Megatron, flew through the ranks, and here we are.

"I'm going to go see Omega, I'll talk to you two later," I said. They nodded and I took off in search of my bond mate. I didn't care what anybody said or did, after I talked to Omega, I was going to go talk to Starscream.

"I don't want a sparkling," I said plainly. Hook finally had me fixed up to a point where I could sit up on my own, and I did. My legs were moving fine now with no issues, now he was just working on my arms and spinal relays.

"Oh, shut up," Skywarp said, knowing that was a lie. Thundercracker looked over at him, and after a moment he nodded his helm in agreement. I stared wide-opticed at them both.

"What did you just say to me?" I asked. There was no way he just told me, his superior, to "shut up".

"You heard me, I told you to shut up. We all know how much you love Megatron, and TC and I know you wanted that sparkling and wanted to name it Skystrike," He responded. I watched him cross his arms and Thundercracker wrap his arm around him.

"You swore that would never leave the Academy," I spat out. Now I was pissed, only Primus knew who just heard that.

"Yeah, well, you swore you'd never let your past get in the way of anything ever again. And look where that's gotten you..." he gestured his arm in a game show way, same amount of venom in his voice as me. I glared at him, and looked back at Thundercracker.

TC sighed, "look, Starscream, we were devastated when you did that. Skywarp still is, almost as much as Megatron. I understand why you did it, but your reasons don't hold true anymore. Megatron has told you time after time, he won't kill you and-" I cut him off there.

"It's a plan! He's going to do something to me or the sparkling if I have it! He'll kill it, or kill me, or, something!" I shrieked. This was really pissing me off. Couldn't they see it's just a ploy?

"Starscream, calm down, all I'm saying is-"

"I don't care what you're saying, what I'm saying is it isn't true. He will kill me, or if he doesn't, he'll beat me and torture me for the rest of eternity!" I yelled. Why was he bothering to keep up with this act?

"Fine. Have it your way. But you'll be miserable the rest of your existence if you keep this up. Come on, Skywarp. We should leave Starscream to his pouting session and refuel. You're going to need it," he finished, grabbing Skywarp by the arm in a huff and walking out. Some bots.

I watched the doors slide closed, and just kept staring at them, waiting for my trine to return.

But they never did.

They're abandoning me.

I started my up with the both of them, but neither answered. I tried the bond too, but they didn't respond to that either. This made me even more pissed, and I threw some monitor across the room. Then, considering some time had passed, I tried the links again. Still, I got nothing.

The next time I saw them, they were going to be deactivated.

"So, why are we ignoring him?" He looked up at me. I wrapped my servo around his and took another drink before continuing.

"Because, Skywarp, he's grieving over the sparkling. And the 5 stages of grief are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and last but not least, Acceptance," I explained. At least, I hoped that was happening. It made sense to me, because Starscream did always want a sparkling, and now that it's dead...

"And he's already gone through denial..." Skywarp started, looking down at his cube and swirling it around.

"Now he's experiencing anger..." I continued, squeezing his servo tighter. Attempting to readjust my place on the berth, I nearly spilled my energon.

"Next is, bargaining? What's that?" He turned his gaze back to me, completely unaware of my clutsiness, as the humans would call it.

"Bargaining, my dear Skywarp, is when you're logic processor is lost in a cloud of 'what if's' and 'if only's'. He'll be thinking things like 'what if I kept the sparkling?' and 'if only I would have listened to everyone...' and slowly he'll be making his way into depression." I explained, rubbing my digits along his servo. He didn't appear to like that too much.

"I don't want him to be depressed or questioning himself or anything, so what can we do?" He took a few more sips of his energon and looked up at me, expecting an answer.

"Well, 'Warp, we really can't do anything. This is all on his own terms," I tried my best to soothe him, but I doubted it would work.

"Oh," was his response. Suddenly his frown turned into a smile though, and he set the cube down to jump up on my lap. "Do you think I'm sparked yet?" He asked.

I smiled too, considering I had completely forgotten about that. "I don't know, we'd have to ask Hook," I watched Skywarp's smile start to fade back into a frown, and I knew I'd have to do something quick. "Regardless, we can do it again, to ensure you are sparked, incase you aren't yet," I smiled deviously and pulled him closer into a deep kiss.

Once we broke away from each other, and after breaking a thin line of lubricant stretching from my mouth plates to his, he giggled a soft little "oh, TC," before devouring me.

* * *

Being the massive height I am, it was difficult to try sneaking around the Nemesis. Luckily, Megatron took this time to get his anger out on a raid and battle, so it was nearly empty. Now if I could only find...

"Ah ha!" I said, smiling in approval. The med-bay doors. Starscream was sure to be in there, right? I smiled, and listened in first. Tuning my audio receptors, I listened hard for any sort of movement. I recognized some cycle ventilation, and that was it.

Having no clue as to what the code might be to access the med-bay, I just tried speaking from outside the doors.

"Starscream? Are you in there?" I tried. First, was silence, then, a stirring. But no words.

"Starscream?" I tried again. This time there was quick getting up and walking to the door.

"Who's there?" I heard the familiar voice call back.

"It's me, Skyfire," I admitted. Either I was deactivated here and now, or we might have a chance to talk.

The doors slid open, and I could see the same Starscream I saw back just before he chose sides, when he'd be crying because Megatron wouldn't notice him.

"I'm not in- in- the moo- mood to chat with Autolosers, Skyfire," he sobbed out.

"That's okay, just listen," I told him, servos in the air trying to look as friendly as possible.

What has happened to my dear friend?


	13. Let's Skip to Insanity!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV goes from Skyfire, 'Screamer, to TC.

"Well, I- I'm happy you're sparked," he told me, giving me a weak smile. I nodded and added a quick "yeah" in response.

"I heard you and Megatron finally got together, in one way or another anyways," I tried, desperate to coax the true story out of him.

"We didn't get together, he was pissed and over-energized so he raped me. I became sparked, didn't want it, and so I got that abortion thing," he whispered, starting to cry again. I felt terrible for doing this to him, but I just wanted to know...

"Rape or not, you always did want a sparkling with him," I whispered back, leaning forwards more so I could see his reaction a little better.

"I know, I know," he told me, sitting way up and hugging himself tighter. "I wonder what would have happened if I had kept it, what would Megatron have really done?" He looked at me, as if expecting me to give him the real answer. I sighed...

"Well, if what I've been hearing lately is true, he would have helped you raise it. And you three could be a family. There would be no more fighting between you," I responded truthfully.

Starscream nodded at first, a little smile crossing his lips. "And you heard about this all how?" He glared at me, the venomous smile just begging to lash out at me.

"Different, uh, Autobots. You spy on us, we spy on you, the likes," I shrugged, hoping that was a good enough answer.

He nodded, his classic little smirk turning back into the spark-wrenching frown it had been earlier.

"What if I told him the truth, what would he say?" He choked out, before going back into the hysteria that gripped him earlier. "What if we- we did become a- a- a family? What would hap- happen with the war?" He continued, breaking down further. I stood up and walked across to the berth he was on, sat down, and laid my servo on his wing.

"The war would take a break, I bet. We could all have the next generation. If you told Megatron the truth, he'd probably be ecstatic, and couldn't wait to bond and have a sparkling with you. Starscream, if he's gone this far with it, wouldn't it be worth the risk to take it a little further? You're always risking your life to rule over the entire army, why not risk it to have something you've truly always wanted? Something that, as you and I _both_ know, you want more?" I told him, hoping it was getting through.

Starscream nodded and leaned more into my arms. That's when are moment was interrupted with chatter outside the doors. Instantly both of our helms shot up and just, stared, frozen with fear.

Megatron walked in, the son of a glitch himself, along with the constructicon Hook and Starscream's other two trine mates. The purple one, Skywarp I believe, dropped a cube of energon, probably for Starscream.

Megatron instantly began fuming with anger, and Starscream started pleading for my life. It was almost to odd to be true.

"Megatron, please. He wasn't spying or anything! We were just talking!" I stood up and stumbled, Megatron and I both attempting to catch him. After helping Starscream regain his balance I took my servos away instantly, Megatron growling.

"Get. OUT. So help me Primus if you ever return! OUT!" He yelled. I nodded, looked back at Starscream, who again gave me a weak smile, and ran out.

* * *

"Why was he here?" Megatron finally turned to me. He stared murderously at me, his grip on me getting tighter.

"Please, don't kill me," I whimpered. I could hear Thundercracker trying to call off our leader, noticing how upset I was, and he relaxed a little.

"Just, tell me. I won't hurt you, or that pathetic Autobot, if you just tell me the truth," He tried again, quieter and more relaxed then before.

"He just, we just, he got sparked, and he heard about me and what not, so he came to comfort me, is all," I explained, terribly at that. My logic processor was cloudy with Skyfire's little speech still, but I tried.

"And did it work, my dear Starscream?" He smiled.

I thought about my choices, and quickly. I could lie, say no, and play the damsel in distress still; not my favorite option. I could tell the truth, play it easy, and just leave it at a simple yes; safe, but...

Quickly, before he let me go, I wrapped my servos around him and pulled him close, bringing our mouth plates together. I could sense Megatron's surprise at first, and I smiled a bit when I heard Skywarp gasp in the background, but neither of those things bothered me. Megatron found his place once again, and tried desperately to retain dominance. Our glossas flicked at each other and rough housed a bit, both of us trying to be victorious over the other. Eventually I had enough, though, and submission overcame me as he finished off the kiss.

When we broke apart, I smirked a bit, "you tell me."

Silence overtook the room, until Skywarp tentatively said, "is he at acceptance already?" to Thundercracker. I had no clue what they were talking about, but decided to just let TC answer him with a quick, "either that or he's lost it."

I smiled up at Megatron when he was speechless, nothing more to say to me. Eventually he smiled back and pulled me into a tight embrace, one I'll cherish forever. Hopefully this wasn't a dream...

"So..." I started sarcastically, "can Hook finish fixing me now? I'd like to get back to my usual duties as soon as possible, _mighty_ Megatron.."

Megatron nodded and gave me a quick kiss on the top of my helm. "Hook, finish your repairs, _now_ ," he commanded. Hook gave a quick "yes, sir," before gesturing to the berth. Skywarp positively beamed with happiness, but Thundercracker didn't look too impressed. He crossed his arms and glared at me, I honestly don't know what for.

"Everyone, out please. I'll be done soon, I hope," Hook said shoeing every one out. Skywarp nodded quickly, before nearly skipping out. Megatron squeezed my servo and followed. Thundercracker gave me one last hard look, before he too left.

Hook gave me some more sedatives, and quickly I was off into recharge.

* * *

"Isn't it great, TC? 'Screamer's finally embracing the _love_ ," Skywarp giggled. I myself wasn't so quick to believe it.

"Skywarp, you didn't notice anything, off, about Starscream?" I asked him, turning onto my side and stretching out the entire length of the berth.

He stopped skipping about, looked hard at me, face full of concentration. "No," was his response.

Well, I was worried. Had Starscream really lost it? If I knew him as well as I had thought I did, he wouldn't have gone from bawling when we walked in to making out with our leader in front of us. Perhaps he got a glitch, or a virus...

"Well, I'm worried about him," I admitted. What was to become of my trine mate, my leader, my _brother?_

"Aw, TC, it'll be okay," Skywarp tried to comfort me, walking over and laying down next to me. "I love you, Thundercracker."

I sighed and pulled him close, nuzzling myself into the spot between his neck and his wing. "I love you more, Skywarp."

"Well, what do you want to do about it?" He asked, after a long pause.

"About what, 'Warp?" Keeping my helm in my favorite place. I had totally forgotten the whole ordeal with Starscream.

"Starscream, and his supposed craziness," he answered, rubbing the back of my helm.

"I don't know, but we can ask Hook later. We'll have to get you checked out anyways, what with a sparkling and all," I smiled. Imagine, if I could be a father...

"Mmm, would that be great if we had sparklings and 'Screamer had a sparkling and everything, and they had a trine, and we could teach them the ways we were taught, way before the war," he rambled on. I didn't mind, the thoughts were actually cute.

"That would be the sweetest little thing," I commented.

Skywarp giggled again, offlining his optics and getting ready for recharge.

"Love you," I told him again.

"Mhmmm," he mumbled, his logic processors finally offlining.

I smiled, and slowly followed behind.


	14. You're Scaring Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV goes from TC to Megatron.

"And you're sure he's fine? No glitches, no viruses, he's perfectly fine?" I asked again. There was no way Starscream was completely sane right now, or before, there just wasn't. He was so, unlike himself.

"Look you two, I'm not a psychiatrist; I'm a surgeon. Physically, he is now in perfect health. I don't know what else to tell you, you watched me preform the tests. He. Is. Fine," Hook told me, presumably for the last time.

"It just, doesn't make any sense," I said, shaking my helm. Skywarp draped his arm across my shoulders in a friendly manner, and proceeded to give me a sweet little smile.

I looked back up at Hook. "Thanks for everything," I muttered, wrapping my arm around 'Warp's waist and walking out.

"I told you he was fine. Why can't you just accept that he's happy now?" Skywarp turned to me as soon as we were out. I let him go and faced him, straightening my spinal relays but keeping my optics far from his.

"Well?" He crossed his arms and stared at me hard. When Skywarp wasn't a killing machine on the battle field, he was really just an innocent bystander to everything else. He wouldn't understand, all he understood was that 'Screamer _appeared_ happy.

"Look, Skywarp," I sighed and looked around again, ensuring we were alone. "I know Starscream looks happy. And in his own little delusional way, he is. But you saw how upset he was. No bot can go that upset to that happy as quickly as he did, right?"

He frowned and shook his head. "Starscream is unpredictable, TC. He always has been," was his explanation.

"Yeah, 'Warp. I know, it's just that-," I started, before we heard our little leader's lover bellowing just as loudly as ever.

"Thundercracker, Skywarp, is Starscream awake yet?" He pretty much yelled. We shook our heads and he sighed.

"But he's in perfect health, according to Hook. Maybe you should take him to your quarters, so he'll be more comfortable when he wakes up," Skywarp chirped. I glared at him. _Bring the looney to the tyrant's quarters, brilliant one._

Megatron looked like he was actually considering. "A good idea, and I may," he said, looking up at the ceiling.

"I can warp him, so it's quicker," Skywarp added.

I swear I was going to deactivate him.

Megatron was silent for a moment, before nodding and turning off in another direction.

"What in the Pits, Skywarp?" I glared at him. He looked momentarily taken back, but quickly crossed his arms and glared back just as hard.

"There's nothing wrong with him Thundercracker! You'll see!" He shouted back. I watched him walk back into the med-bay in a huff, heard the noise signaling he's warping, and then silence.

For everyone's sake, I hope he's right.

* * *

We needed energon, and _fast_. Shockwave had hardly any left, as I had completely forgotten about him during the last raid, and we were down to almost _nothing_. I tried to come up with plans, but nothing was coming to me. No where looked safe enough to even attempt a raid, and there was no news on anywhere new.

So what in the Pits exactly was I going to do?

_You could stop thinking about your little interfacing toy and actually get a plan together._

_He's definitely NOT my, or anyone else's, interfacing toy._

_You wish he was though._

I slammed my servos down on my desk, sick of all this. What was even happening to me?

I heard a little groan, a deep cycle ventilation, and a stretch. I turned around and looked at my SIC.

"Starscream? Are you online now?" I asked quietly, making sure not to scare him. I got up slowly and started making my way towards his beautiful frame, and smirked a bit when he looked back at me with the cutest look of confusion.

_Really? You think this is cute? Out of all the things, ESPECIALLY with YOU, you think THIS is CUTE?_

_Shut the frag up already._

"Wh- where am I? I was just in the-" I sat next to him and put a digit to his mouth plates.

"Skywarp asked if I wanted him to warp you in here, we both thought you'd be more comfortable on a real berth, not some medical one," I explained.

He gave me a small smile. "So we're in your quarters?"

"Yeah."

His smile got a little bigger. "And no one can hear us, because your walls are too thick...

"Yeah, I guess. But what does that have to do with-" I honestly had no idea what was happening, but Starscream clearly did. Before I could finish my sentence his arms were already behind my neck and our mouth plates were smashed together. I smiled too, climbing on top of him. I was ready to really get to business, when someone had to ruin everything.

"Lord Megatron? New places suitable for raiding have been discovered. Shall I come in and bring you the locations?" Soundwave's monotone voice came in from the outside. I groaned, unimpressed with his timing. Couldn't the fool have sensed we were busy?

"Go ahead, I'll be right over here waiting," Starscream smiled up at me. I grinned too and gave him one last kiss.

"Lord Megatron? Are you in there?" Soundwave asked again.

"Yes, I'm coming," I got up and punched the code into my keypad. The doors wooshed open and Soundwave was taken back, looking like Devastator had kicked him in the chassis.

Then it hit me.

 _You're sensing the lust in this room, aren't you?_ I smiled. Soudwave straightened back out almost instantaneously, but I knew the truth.

"Come in, Soundwave."

I turned and headed towards my desk, sneaking a peak at Starscream. He just laid there, one leg bent at the joint, the other spread out and falling limply at the side of the berth. One servo rested on his inner thigh while the other was put casually behind his head.

Truly a work of art, he was.

Soundwave made an odd ventilation sound, almost like the human's coughing. "Lord Megatron? The plans?" He interrupted.

I knew there'd be no way I could concentrate with Starscream like that. "Starscream, why don't you come over and give us some ideas. Perhaps some of yours that _won't_ fail?" I smiled. He onlined his optics and got up instantaneously.

"Of course, Mighty Megatron," he said, walking over.

Well, that was, odd.

I looked at Soundwave, who almost looked confused as well. He shook his head and looked back down at the data pads, so I did as well. Starscream picked one up and thumbed through it, Soundwave explaining one in particular.

* * *

With Soundwave's location and Starscream and I's plan, quite a brilliant one might I add, we were sure to get plenty of energon, regardless of any attacks.

It was nice, having a second who actually gave me _useful_ criticism. Not just blabber about how he'd make a better ruler.

I watched as my soldiers were piling the cubes of energon faster and more efficiently then ever, and honestly, I was impressed.

Even Starscream was helping, with no complaints of any sort. And although helpful, it was a bit, odd.

I watched Laserbeak fly in and transform back into a cassette, Soundwave analyzing.

"Lord Megatron, Autobots are on their way," he said. I nodded, ready.

"Everyone, finish what you're doing and get the energon out. A battle is coming, let's be ready," I ordered. Starscream was right, there wouldn't be a lot of energon won if we kept going until the Autobots got here, and certainly a lot lost if they were here and fired at it before it was gone.

Astrotrain was full and ready to leave again, the weaker of my Decepticons following close behind.

"Carrier Decepticons, take off. We'll see you back at the base," I ordered. They nodded and followed behind Astrotrain, energon safe in servos.

"Mighty Megatron, shall we take off?" Starscream asked from behind me. I turned around and nodded, he and his trine walking off to a decent location for transformation.

I watched the three of them turn into their jet modes, noticing how graceful it really was. All three of them did everything perfectly in sync, from the beginning parts to the actual taking off. I smiled as they started aerial maneuvers, readying themselves for battle. Even though I had seen this many times before, whether watching from the corner of my optics or spying from above the Nemesis, this time seemed different. Something was, off.

"Lord Megatron, Optimus Prime and the Autobots are entering firing range," Soundwave said next to me.

I brought my attention back to the upcoming battle. Whatever seemed wrong was probably nothing anyway.

"Excellent. Send Devastator out to led the pack. I want him to crush the Autobrats like the vermin they are. I want the Coneheads tailing the other Seekers, the rest of us will fall behind Devastator. Get everyone to their places, now," I reminded him. He nodded and set out to give everyone their orders, the Coneheads set off after a few mumbles of how the Seekers should trail them, not visa-versa.

I heard the Constructicons forming Devastator far off on my left, but firing and screaming brought my optics back to the Seekers.

That's where I found it wasn't just a feeling that something was off. Something was really, _truly_ wrong.


	15. No Chick Flick Moments!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole thing is from Megatron's POV.

"Starscream!" I shouted over my comm. link. "What in the pit is going on up there!" Thundercracker and Skywarp were trying desperately to protect their leader, who seemed completely out of it. Shots were being fired madly and the blue and purple Seekers were taking nearly all, if not all, the damage.

"Hi Sweety! I'll be down shortly!" He said back.

"Soundwave! Get a small group together and bring back Starscream! He's gone insane!" I shouted at him. Clearly he had already noticed, along with almost all the other Decepticons. Devastator was busy, well, devastating the Autobots, the Cassetticons were taking on the Lamborghini twins, and a few other oblivious Decepticons were behind Devastator in battle. All the rest of us just, stared. Soundwave looked completely confused, which was odd in itself considering he was completely emotionless most of the time.

We all stood frozen, watching as Thundercracker and Skywarp got out a few blasts in a failing attempt to stop the shots aimed for Starscream. Starscream, seemingly unaware of everything around him, was busy doing loops and spins like a sparkling.

"Thundercracker! Skywarp! You need to retreat! Do whatever it takes to bring the glitched fool back here!" I comm. linked them. It didn't do any use, and one more fire was shot.

Thundercracker and Skywarp raced to their plummeting leader, whom looked like he had been shot through a wing and was spiraling dangerously out of control. My spark stopped, knowing exactly what kind of aim and gun it would take to blow a hole that massive in my Seeker.

_Prime._

Skywarp was the first over to Starscream, warping over and trying to nudge him back up enough to land properly. It didn't work, he was merely nano-klicks too late. With the violet seeker's desperate and rash attempt to save his leader, both crashed violently into the ground. I watched Thundercracker transform and land next to them both, kneeling down and next to them and screaming out like a mad-man.

I could feel his pain.

My anger got the best of me, and I ran out into the battle field, Prime locked in my targets. He barely turned to look at me before I fired my fusion cannon dead at his spark.

A perfect shot.

Prime fell to the ground, Iron Hide quick to his side. I turned back to the jumbled mess of Seeker remains a good 100 yards from me. I raced over next to Thundercracker, still trying desperately to piece back his trine mates remains. I feel to my knees as well, my spark feeling like it was literally being torn from my chassis.

Hook was next to show up, his fellow Constructicons right behind him. I could hear one of them mumble "Dear Primus," under his ventilation cycles, and quickly the liquids fell from my optics. Whoever it was that said it was right in doing so, as I wanted to but couldn't form the words.

Hook came up and knelt down in between Thundercracker and I. "If we hurry while the Autobots are busy with Prime, we could still attempt to save them. Both of their sparks are giving off weak life forces, but life forces nonetheless."

I ran my servo down part of Starscream's demented wing, and nodded. "Thundercracker," I started, "we need to get them back." I tried to get him to let them go, even though I myself didn't want to either. He batted my servo away and cried harder. I shook my helm and looked back to Soundwave, who merely shook his helm as well.

"Scrapper, Long Haul," Hook turned to his fellow Constructicons, "help me with the Seekers. Bonecrusher, Mixmaster, help Thundercracker, I need him away long enough to get the other two back to the med-bay," he ordered. I stared back at the helm of my Second, and Hook nudged me. "You too, Megatron. We need to get them back, let us do our jobs and you'll have him back in no time," he tried. It didn't make me feel better, but the thought of anything else happening to my Starscream because of my ignorance forced me away from him. I fell back to Soundwave, then turned looking back at the mess of metal before me.

"Inquiry: Shall we help stand guard, Lord Megatron?" His monotone voice brought me back to reality.

"Uh, yes. Decepticons, we're retreating, but stay around the Constucticons. Protect your Second in Command and his trine mates," I ordered out. In the background I could hear the Autobots attempting retreat as well, a few having to be held back from trying to attack me and the other Decepticons. But mostly me.

* * *

Hook was busy repairing the heaps of scrap that were Starscream and Skywarp, leaving Thundercracker and I outside to await his verdict. We sat there outside the doors, our spinal relays against the cool metal. It had been 3 joors since we had gotten back, and that had meant 3 joors of silence with Thundercracker. I almost didn't hear him when he mumbled something to me, I was so out of it and used to the silence.

"What was that?" I shook out of my thought processes and turned to him.

"I knew something was wrong," he said again, his helm and wings drooping unimaginably low. "But Skywarp was so convinced Starscream was fine, and I didn't want to scare him, so I just, forgot about it. I shouldn't have let him fly."

I sighed, and tried to muster up some sort of comfort. "You weren't the only one," I told him. I watched him wipe some liquids off of his face plates and optics, then look at me with surprise.

"What do you mean? You noticed it too?" He asked me. Slowly I nodded my helm in agreement.

"When he woke up, after Skywarp had teleported him in, he was, well, happy. Which that in itself didn't bother me, but he was, odd happy. And when he realized we were in my quarters, all of a sudden he just wanted to interface. And that still didn't bother me. But then Soundwave came in with ideas on where to raid, and I started to 'pick on' Starscream, as the humans would call it. I told him to come over and offer some plans that wouldn't fail. And you know what he said?"

Thundercracker began to regulate his ventilation cycles better at this point, and looked like he was starting to really calm down. "What? What did he say?"

"He just said 'of course, Mighty Megatron.' There was no sarcasm in his voice, he simply agreed, came over, and gave me his opinions and strategy plans. Not once did he mock my plans, or tell me I'm unfit to rule. He didn't pout, didn't argue, just stood there and was, well, useful. Now, when have you known him to do that?" I asked him. He didn't know it all yet, but I figured if Hook was going to take all this time to fix the Seekers, Thundercracker and I could at least figure out why it happened.

"That is odd. He has been really happy lately, for no reason. It's scaring me," he turned to me and laid the side of his helm against the door.

"That's not all. I could still feel something was off about him before you three took off, when we were still gathering the energon. I, like you, just put it off thinking it would correct itself. And then there was him up there flying with you and Skywarp before the crash. He was doing all those loops and what not, acting like a fool, so I asked him what the frag he was doing. Would you like to know how he responded?" I asked. "Hi sweety! I'll be down shortly!" I answered myself, mocking the way my Second talks. I found myself turning into the same position as Thundercracker, perpendicular to the door with my helm laying against it.

"That's definitely not Starscream. Even if you two had a perfect relationship, even if you were bonded and everything, he still would never call you 'sweety'. That's far below him," Thundercracker smiled. I smiled too, knowing that was the truth.

I sighed, thinking about things a little bit more. Thundercracker's wings were starting to droop again, clearly he was thinking the same. The silence was killing me, and probably him too. I decided on a small little plan to try and get things between my soldier and I a bit more comfortable, but first...

"Was he still, alright, when he told me he loves me?" I asked him. He looked back up at me and gave a weak smile, nodding his helm in response. I mumbled a quick prayer of thanks to a god I don't even believe in, before setting off towards the rec hall for some high grade.

"I'll be back in a few klicks," I said to him. Thundercracker looked a bit confused, but said nothing.

* * *

"Do you think their dead?" Thundercracker's voice broke our once again silence. I looked over at him, he was still on his third cube. I smiled, forgetting his question and instead thinking about how poorly seekers manage their high grade.

"Megatron?" His voice brought me back and the question still remained. I sighed, putting my seventh cube down.

"Never. Starscream we know has suffered worse," I started, shuttering at the memories. "And Skywarp, well, he's one of my best soldiers. And the best don't die that easily," I shook my helm for added affect. Thundercracker nodded and took another long drink, finishing his cube.

I decided that maybe getting off the subject of the other two seekers completely might not work, but I could get Thundercracker's, and eventually my, mind off the dying part.

"Are you and Skywarp going to have sparklings when this is over?"

Thundercracker whipped his helm around and looked at me, probably trying to see if I was being serious or not. After a moment he smiled a bit and nodded.

"With all due respect, my Lord, I-I-, um, we haven't thought it through, but, um, we've been trying." He stuttered out.

That pissed me off a little bit, because honestly we wouldn't have the energon to raise the sparklings, but Pits. Everyone needs a distraction away from the war, right? That's what made me want Starscream in the first place, right?

"Clearly you haven't thought it through, Hook said seekerlings need a lot of energon," I commented. Thundercracker looked as if he was ready to protest, but unlike his brother, he shut his mouth plates and nodded.

"But everyone needs a distraction," I finished. He looked up again, this time smiling.

"My Lord, does that mean you'd allow it?" He grinned. I nodded, but if anyone was to have a sparkling there'd be rules.

"So help me Primus if you two have triplets, I will kill you both," I warned. I wasn't sure how common it was to have three sparklings at a time, but I didn't want it.

"And why is that, my Lord?" He asked, still smiling but confused.

I smiled too. "Because my seekerling will need a trine. Not just some random duet from the academy either. He'll need trine mates I can trust, trine mates you and Skywarp _will_ produce," I joked.

"Is that a command, my Lord?" He laughed. Thundercracker handed me another cube, and took another for himself.

"It will be, once Starscream is sparked again," I swished the cube in my servos, waiting for Thundercracker's response. I could feel the tension growing between the two of us, but eventually Thundercracker sighed, breaking it a bit.

"He's my brother, and for a moment here, I will not treat you as my leader," he started. I waved my servo in a dismissing gesture.

"No 'chick-flick' moments here, Thundercracker, as the humans would put it."

He sighed, "Anyways, with that being said, don't you dare spark him again without bonding with him. He loves you more than you realize, and I love him too. I can't watch him get spark broken like before. Skywarp can't either, and even if we can't kill you for anything, we both know Skywarp will at least try. And honestly, I wouldn't stop him."

I took it all in, completely understanding of how he felt. Starscream did deserve to be bonded with, he deserved all the attention and love and care he could get, and then some.

"I understand, and I plan on bonding with him, if he'll let me," I nodded, hoping it was a good enough answer.

Thundercracker smirked and took another big gulp of the high grade. "More like if he makes it," he sighed.

I slapped him in the back of the helm. "He'll make it. Skywarp too. Don't you dare say otherwise."

He nodded. "Sorry, my Lord."

I looked back at my cube, trying to convince myself the same. What if Starscream didn't make it? I couldn't just replace him, I loved him. As much as I hated to say it, or even think it, I did. I loved everything about him, even his piss-poor attitude. My life would be literally nothing without him.

_Dear Primus, please spare my Starscream._


	16. Purgatory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> POV is Starscream, Megatron, Starscream.

I remembered everything: the kissing, the insanity, the flying, the crash, you name it. The pain from the crash was unbearable, and I blacked out. My circuits were aching to be released, begging me to just let go.

For a while, though, my memory banks just kept replaying everything over and over, everything I saw, lived, and even thought I missed. I could remember the gentle rubbing of my spinal struts when I was purging, I could remember the first beating I received as punishment, I remembered the first drinks we had together, and the kisses, and the happiness and love radiating off of his face plates when he woke up and saw me looking at him.

 _So this is the Pits_ , I thought to myself. Endless memory files being shown and felt as if I were reliving them completely. I wasn't, of course. That was scientifically impossible. But it was just so, _real_.

I could hear Megatron in the background a few times. His voice wasn't like it was in the memory files, it spoke of things that hadn't occurred yet in those moments. Even when the memory of Megatron was speaking, I could hear the real one talking to me; so close, yet so far away.

He sounded almost as if he were crying, as highly unlikely that he was. Begging for me to return. I wanted to be closer to that voice, wanted to see him say the words of love and passion I could hear the disembodied voice say. But my body wouldn't move, and although I was screaming in my logic processor, begging to be taken out of the memories, they all played out the same as they had in reality.

Eventually, though, I did wake up. And I felt great, too. Nothing hurt, or was stiff, it was as if the crash never happened.

I straightened my spinal relays, stretched my wings and looked around. I was still in the med-bay, surprise surprise, but was seemingly alone. Until I looked over at Skywarp, of course. Who, from the looks of it, was hardly even Skywarp anymore, and at this point was more like a scrap heap.

I stood up and walked over to him, just, looking. One of his wings was completely mangled, the other looked brand new, like it had literally been replaced. He was missing an arm, but the left arm looked completely new and polished. Both of his legs had yet to be repaired, and his cockpit had been shattered completely.

I shook my head, I must be delusional. Yes, I was still in the Pits. I had to be. This was all a dream, a sick, twisted dream...

"Starscream?" I heard a quite voice from behind me. I turned to see Megatron, but he wasn't looking at me. He knelt down next to the berth I had been laying on, or, rather, still was?

My body laid there, motionless, looking a lot like Skywarp's. I knew it couldn't be mine, I mean, I was walking and stuff, right? I ran over to Megatron, who was still concentrated on my lifeless chassis.

"Megatron?" I smiled, kneeling next to him. He looked as if he didn't hear me, or even know I was there. I shouted, louder this time.

"Megatron! Over here, you dimspark!" It made no difference, he was still ignoring me.

That pissed me off, so I swung at him.

My servo passed right through him, like he wasn't even there.

Or rather, I wasn't.

* * *

Thundercracker came bursting through the doors shortly after I did, his venting cycles on full speed trying to cool down his body.

"My Lord, Optimus Prime, Iron Hide, everyone is talking," he panted. As soon as Prime's name was uttered from his vocalizer I was interested. Clearly he had wasted a lot of his energon rushing here to tell me though, and was going to have to calm down.

"Thundercracker," I half-shouted. "Quit the half-processed nonsense and tell me what you need to tell me."

He shut up for a moment and looked at me. Straightening his spinal relays and back struts, he took a deep cycle and continued on in a more calmly fashion.

"My Lord, word has spread from the Autobot base that three Autobots have been sparked; Iron Hide, Skyfire, and Prowl. Iron Hide's sparking has been recently confirmed, Skyfire had been long ago, but Prowl's is still just gossip," he told me. Honestly, I had no idea why he felt this was so important.

"Good, that means they're weak. We can attack shortly, send Soundwave in for planning," I dismissed him with a flick of my servo.

"No, my Lord, you don't understand, they want a temporary peace treaty. It appears we aren't the only side aware of the other's, um, _practices;_ um, sir."

I looked at him, searching for any signs of deception. After finding none, I proceeded to answer the request.

"Tell them I want proof, and then I may think about it, if it suits me," I ordered him, holding my helm high. Thundercracker looked at me, then over to Skywarp, nodded, and walked out.

Maybe if there was a treaty, Starscream would consider another sparkling, since it'd be safer without the war...

* * *

A treaty? Just so the Autobrats could have their little sparklings? Really? And Megatron was actually _considering_ this? Unbelievable! THIS is why I'm more fit as leader. If I was ruling, that idea would've been cast away and I would have attacked them when they're weak. If only...

"Starscream," I turned my attention back to Megatron, whom was looking at my broken body once again. He ran his digit down my faceplate, once, twice.

"Why couldn't you have just kept the sparkling," he whispered. At the mere mention of the abomination I shuttered, but continued to listen nonetheless. He drew a deep cycle before continuing...

"We could have been happy. We could have had a family, could have finally had the push we truly needed to win the war, for our sparklings. Thundercracker and Skywarp could have had a couple of seekerlings, and our little seekerling could have made a trine with theirs. It could have been perfect, it still could be," he whispered. For once in my life I was being sparkbroken, and with happiness. Why would he want that with me, though? Little Starscream, the slut who always stabbed everyone in the back?

"I love you, Starscream. I don't know what it will take to make you realize that, but whatever it is I'll do it. Once you wake up, you'll no longer be my Second, as much as I like the sound of it. You'll be my equal, we can rule together. I know you're smart, if only you'd quit your bitching and prove it. I'll try to listen to you more, though, even with the constant nagging. Why? Because I love you. I always have," he poured, finishing with a light kiss on my forehead. That was the sweetest thing anyone ever said to me, and if I had a body to "cry" with, I most definitely would have been.

I scooted closer, and placed my servo on one of his. I had completely forgotten it'd just go through, so it surprised the Pits out of me when it did. Forgetting that, though, I decided that I'd get back into my body. I wanted, no, I _needed_ Megatron, even if he wasn't a very good leader. Maybe he was right though, maybe I did need to "tone my nagging down," even if I only did it to keep him in line. Besides, I wouldn't have started it if he would have only listened to me, all those vorns ago.

Primus, what in the Pits was happening to us all?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH THANK THE GODDESS IT'S OVER. Now I can start re-writing and finishing the story. As I edit it, the POVs will go away, being completely third person instead. Please stick through this with me! Thank you!

**Author's Note:**

> And the childish writings that are soon to be revised continue...


End file.
